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Denial warred with the memory of the heat nest... of knowing that I was safe, and exactly where I was meant to be.

“That’s not a real thing,” I countered.

“Of course it’s a real thing.” He scrubbed a palm over his face, pulling at the skin. “Why do you think it ended up as a romance novel staple in the first place?” His hand fell to lie limply in his lap. “Gabriel knows, too, even though he won’t admit it aloud. He wants us to come to London with them. Not sure if the other two have realized yet. They’d already taken scent dampeners before we got here; Gabriel hadn’t, though.”

My head was slowly moving back and forth in a soundless negative gesture. I stilled it. “No. I can’t go to London. Tommy and Cade will be there. The syndicate is there. Peopleknow me.”

I’d been to London twice in the years since I first fled to New York, both times for fashion shows. And both times I’d been a nervous wreck from the time the plane touched down until the time my return flight taxied down the runway, despite the fact that the fashion venues were nowhere near my old haunts in the East End.

“And your uncle apparently knew exactly where to find you in New York,” Elijah said tiredly. “What’s to stop him coming after you again if he finds out you went back there?”

This was too much, coming so close on the heels of a heat I’d never wanted. Still, the signs had already been in the air. I’d been thinking about contingencies before I’d accepted theSecret Boudoiroffer, when it became obvious that my modeling career was crumbling around me.

“I’ve got a bit of money left from the initial payment for the cruise,” I said stubbornly. “I’ll catch a bus; go somewhere small and out of the way. Get a normal job. Disappear.”

Never smell amber and myrrh or oakmoss and petrichor or roses and bayberry again...

An ache took up residence in my throat, and I refused to acknowledge it because scent matchesweren’t really a thing, goddamn it. Not for someone like me. Someone living as a beta.I just needed to get a fresh supply of blockers and suppressors, and I’d be able to put all of this behind me.

My throat closed up completely, my chest giving a fitful little hitch that barely missed being a panicked sob.

No more dusky skin and clean forest scent... no more callused fingers stroking soothingly through my hair...

It was just the aftermath of my heat talking. That was all. Ithadto be.

Elijah looked like he was holding onto his composure by a thread, but he only nodded. “Okay. Well, you need to talk to Gabriel before we dock. He’s still planning on going after Casick for the human trafficking, and he was making noise about the two of us testifying if it went to court.”

File that under ‘things that won’t be happening.’

Forget about the danger to me. If Tommy figured out that Gabriel was trying to connect him to the case, everyone involved would have a target painted on their backs.Especiallyif they were camped out in the same damn city as the syndicate.

“I’ll talk to him,” I said, trying not to think about how well that conversation was likely to go.

It did not go well... but not for the reasons I might have assumed. Gabriel Rosencranz was not acting like an alpha who’d had his knot jammed inside me less than a day ago. In many ways, he didn’t act like my mental picture of an alphaat all.

No... the problem resided firmly in my own head. Apparently, I was forever doomed to suffer explicit flashbacks whenever I so much as scented him or one of the others—much less saw them.

Gabriel pumping into me from behind while I snarled and keened and bit the pillow, trying to get him even deeper. Curran spreading my legs and holding me there like a pinnedbutterfly while Onyx ate me up like dessert. Elijah and Gabriel kissing above me as though they were trying to devour each other, even as another orgasm slammed through me...

Fuck, fuck,fuck.

“I understand your concerns,” Gabriel was saying, his cool blue gaze focused somewhere beyond my left ear, rather than on my face. “As long as you and Elijah have a plan to stay safe, and the resources to implement it, I don’t claim to have any say over your choices. However, I would take it as a personal favor if you’d both forward your contact information to me, in the event your testimony is needed in any future legal proceedings.”

I worked my jaw for a second, just to make sure there was enough moisture in my mouth to speak. “Thank you. And I should be able to p-pay you back for the cost of airfare within a month or two. I don’t intend to be your charity case.”

He waved the words away. “Please. Don’t give the airfare a second thought. Believe me when I say—that sort of thing completely disappears within the annual corporate travel budget. It’s literally nothing.”

I’d just drawn breath to protest when Onyx ducked down the stairwell, poking their head into the cabin.

“Hey, you two,” they said. “We’re about twenty minutes out of port. Time to gather up your luggage and get ready to disembark.”