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Simply explaining away the guilt she feels won’t work. I’ve already tried. If she regrets kissing me, I don’t want to know yet. I’d rather enjoy this moment as long as possible. I’m generally not a coward, but I’ll gladly wear the title in exchange for a few more precious moments in this little cabin.
After we leave here, I won’t do anything to make her feel trapped. The existence of my feelings for her doesn’t mean she returns them. Or that she ever will. And if Knot ever makes my reassignment official, I won’t have to worry about Sadie feeling pressured to act a certain way.
Those beautiful eyes turn away, unable to hold my gaze. Sadie pulls out of my lap, the quilt falling to the floor as she rises to her feet. Her aloofness makes me want to roar and rail at the asshole that put us in this position.
I can’t blame Maxen, though. This is my fault. Knot was right. If I had manned up and talked to Sadie after leaving the corps, Maxen wouldn’t have had any reason to target Sadie in his sick game.
As much as it kills me, especially after tasting Sadie’s lips last night, I sense it’s time to leave. I’m making her uncomfortable. “I guess it’s time for me to head back to Virginia.”
I turn away from the best friend I’ve ever had and grab my bag. A long ride in the cold rain might do me some good.
As I step from the porch, the water leeches from me every bit of the warmth I’d taken from Sadie’s body. By the time I reach the four-wheeler, all I know is cold, inside and out.
Sadie
The rain comes down harder now, but with the sun coming up, there’s nothing to stop Aaron from leaving.
My head and heart go to war over what the hell I ought to do. I should probably let him go. The trouble is, I don’t want to.
What’s it gonna be, Sadie? The blinders are off now. Aaron’s kiss last night was the most real thing you’ve let yourself experience in over a decade. Are you going to miss this chance and die in regret as Brock did? Or are you going to hitch up your lady balls and go after him?
Over the pounding rain, I tell my inner harpy, “You’re such a fucking bitch.”
I rush across the floor and throw the door open. Aaron stands next to his four-wheeler in the early morning light, stowing his bag in the waterproof cargo box.
My heart pounds loud enough to drown out the storm, and I step off the deck before I realize I’m doing it. The rain covers my approach, and when I reach Aaron, I run my hands up his cold back.
He starts and turns around, eyes widening when he sees me standing there, rain soaking my clothes. I press my body against him without hesitation or reservation. I want Aaron. I think I’ve always wanted Aaron, and that’s why I always held back. And now, nothing is stopping me from having him. Not even me.
My hands go to his chest as if I’ve done it a thousand times. “I’m yours, Aaron, and you’re mine. No more excuses and no more wasting time.”
I don’t wait for him to reply. My hands lift to cup his face and bring his lips toward mine.
“Wait,” he says, grabbing my wrists to stop me, though it pains him to do it.
The rain runs in rivers over his face, dripping off his nose and chin. Chaos swirls in his eyes, and his jaw of granite is clenched hard enough to break teeth. “What are you doing, Sadie?”
Staring into his green eyes, I swallow the massive lump in my throat. “I didn’t hurt Brock.”
Aaron’s forehead wrinkles in confusion, but he shakes his head in agreement. “No, you didn’t. Brock did that himself.”
“And I didn’t hurt you.”
Understanding dawns, and Aaron’s face relaxes. “No. I did that.”
“Maxen betrayed us all.”
“Yes.”
Aaron posed that one word as a question, wondering where I’m going with this. The moment stretches between us while I take a deep breath. “Your lips are the only ones to ever feel right on mine. Last night was the first time I slept next to someone feeling completely relaxed.”
Aaron looks up at the angry, gray sky. His Adam’s apple bobs, and he returns a hard glare my way. “I’m not looking to be your safe option, Sadie.”
“You’re not my safe option, Aaron. You’re my only option. I just didn’t realize it until now. You’re the reason why I never let anyone in.”
I tug my hands free from his grip and slide them up his wet chest again. “Maxen somehow knew and used it to try and destroy us both. I’m through letting Maxen win.”
Aaron’s eyes go wide as I shove against him, knocking him back a step. “And I’m done with people trying to do my thinking for me. You included. Now, do you want me or not?”