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“Well, they haven’t held it against you,” I said. “You wouldn’t have gotten invited here if that was the case.”

“Perhaps. I like to tell myself I’m here because I’m intelligent, I take tests well, and I can think on my feet. Or even maybe it’s because I have some skills that could be useful for an operative, like a hypersensitivity to people’s behaviors and body language. It’s a skill I learned from an early age when trying to judge my father’s moods. Occasionally, I entertain the idea that they’re impressed by my sleight of hand. But do you want to know what I really think is the reason I got invited to UTOP?”

I was almost afraid to respond. “Yes,” I finally whispered.

“I’m pretty sure I’m the only one among us who’s killed someone. I bet they figure if I did it once, I could do it again.” He pushed off the couch. “So, now you know my secrets, Red. Good night, and good luck on the trial tomorrow.”

Without another word, he walked out of the gaming room, closing the door behind him. I sat there in silence, shamed I had pushed him to reveal such a hidden part of himself.

Pressing my hands over my face, I wondered what dark secrets the rest of us were hiding.

Chapter Forty-Three

ANGEL SINCLAIR

“Angel, are you asleep?”

I rolled over in the bed and peered down at Frankie on the bottom bunk. She was sitting up in the bed.

“No. I’m awake.”

“Can I come up?” she whispered.

“Sure.” I sat up and crossed my legs to make room for her to sit.

Frankie carefully climbed up the bunk ladder and sat at the foot of my bed, her feet hanging off the bed. “I can’t fall asleep.”

“Me neither.”

“Are you worried about the trials?” she asked.

“No.” I sighed. “Yes.”

I’d been thinking about Jax all night, wondering what would happen to him if he didn’t make UTOP. What would his future hold? How would he manage without the support and love of a family?

Then I thought about Kira. Would her father permit her to be a doctor if she didn’t make the cut? What would happen to Mike, Bo, and Hala if none of them made it, too?

I blew out a breath, deciding to be honest with Frankie. “I’m worried about everyone. I’m also worried about us, the White Knights. The only way this plays out well is if none of us make it.”

Frankie was silent for a moment. “Do you want to go on to UTOP, Angel?”

“Yes.” I lifted my hands, miserable. “I wasn’t even sure I wanted to do this in the first place. But now that I’m here, a part of mereallywants to win one of those two slots. This is just a little taste of what we would get at UTOP, and if I’m honest, I like it. I haven’t been this challenged in my entire life—intellectually or emotionally. It’s…exhilarating. But I don’t want to get a slot at the expense of yours or Wally’s friendship. The others have a lot to lose, too, if they don’t make it.”

She put a hand on my shoulder. “Angel, you aren’t going to lose my friendship, or Wally’s, either, if you get chosen and we don’t, or vice versa. Real friendships don’t just disappear. The others will find their own paths, as well. You heard Mr. Donovan. Candidates are just encouraged to show their skills in different ways within the intelligence agency.”

“Do you want to make it, Frankie?” I asked. “You know, live the life of an operative?”

“Of course I do. That’s why I’m here. But regardless of what happens, it’s all part of my journey to becoming a better person, a productive person.”

“How do you do it?” I twisted my sheet between my fingers. “You seem to go through life without anxiety. But think about it. If one of us went on to UTOP and the rest of us didn’t, things would change, and I was just getting used to having you guys around. I like having friends, Frankie.”

“And your friends like having you.” She hugged her knees to her chest, resting her chin on her kneecaps. “But friendships change regardless. It’s called growth. If you went to UTOP without us, it wouldn’t change that.”

I loved her, I really did. But I didn’t believe her. “It might, Frankie. Seriously, it really might. That’s the part that has me worried the most—although I don’t know why I’m stressing so much. I’m not getting one of those two slots. I’ve outright failed two of the trials and sucked at most of the rest other than the gaming challenge.”

“That’s so not true. You don’t have anything to worry about. You’re always coming up with original ideas.”

“Yeah, well, executing those ideas is the problem.”