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“You don’t love me, Luca.”
“We don’t marry for love.”
He looked away as he filled his glass with more scotch.
“It’s sad,” I said. “You mistake the tension between us as a connection. My doctors call it a trauma bond. It’s when two people bond because of ongoing cycles of abuse.”
He threw his arm above his head, his face twisted in anger. “I never fucking touched you!”
Disgusted by his outburst, I shook my head. “Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse.”
He snickered. “If you say so, Drea.”
My doctors had often mentioned trauma bonding during our sessions about Luca. They thought it was why I could never walk away from him. Luca was never physically abusive and would never hurt me. But we had a toxic push-pull relationship, a constant punishment and reward system that always brought us back together.
Like an idiot, I would accept his apology. And the cycle continued. I used to think the universe wanted us to be together. Maybe he was right about fate. He had me convinced it was our destiny to be together, but perhaps the glue binding us was nothing more than our past traumas.
I had formed a connection with him the day he let me touch his scars. And he developed intimacy with me that he hadn’t shown to another person. We were both scarred, battered, and mentally fucked beyond repair. But my time with Marcello changed the game. He made me see that love didn’t have to hurt. That I deserved love and happiness and could find it with someone else.
As I attempted to leave, Pops grabbed my elbow. “Alex, please, we’re not done. You have people who need you. Men who would fight for you. Kill for you. Even die for you.”
All eyes were on me. A weird feeling stirred inside me, churning up the bile rising at the back of my throat. Needing space from Luca, I crossed the room to sit beside Sonny on the couch beside Marcello’s wheelchair.
Luca’s eyes flared with pure hatred. Like he wanted to slit my throat and throw my body in the bay. He thought I’d chosen Marcello, but I didn’t know which one I wanted. I understood that I was responsible to my family and would follow through.
Unable to sit still, Luca bounced his knee as he glared at me. It was killing him to see me with his brother. He’d always thought being the oldest entitled him to me. But this game was far from over.
With the Knights staring at me, my skin flushed with heat. I’d taken this fight with Luca a little too far.
“What else did you want to talk to me about?” I asked Pops.
“I planned your wedding for the second week in September.”
I cleared my throat, shooting daggers at him. “Excuse me?”
“We don’t have time to waste,” my grandfather explained. “The Knights can’t admit any new members until they have a queen. It’s in the charter. We need as many allies as we can get.”
“Don’t you make the rules? Just break them.”
“It doesn’t work like that. If I don’t follow the rules, then why should anyone under my authority?”
“So I have one month to choose?”
“We still have the Albanians waiting to steal you from the Knights.” Pops gave me a stern expression. “They will come for you, and when they do, they will have more men and a better plan. The Knights can’t admit new members without a Queen, which weakens their ranks.”
“I came here to find Aiden,” I told my grandfather. “I’m not marrying anyone until I know if he’s dead or alive.”
Arlo’s jaw tightened. Luca stared at the wall on the other side of the room. The rest of the Knights nervously shifted in their seats. Pops’ face was expressionless, and I wondered if he knew the truth about Aiden. He didn’t seem bothered by Luca’s comment or the fact that no one offered any information.
What if they didn’t know what happened to him? What if Aiden was lying in a ditch somewhere? Not knowing killed me. I couldn’t get married without my brother walking me down the aisle.
“I didn’t kill him,” Luca offered.
I scanned each of their faces for malice. Some hid it better than others. But I could tell by the look on Drake’s face that he knew what happened to Aiden.
I leaned forward, my focus on Drake. “Where is my brother?”
No answer.