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‘What happened?’ Bex asked, her voice hushed.

‘She got sick.’ He sighed deeply, pain flickering in his eyes. ‘We thought it was just a bug. Something she’d shake off. She told me she’d see the doctor, get it sorted, and that was the last time I saw her. Her family came to tell me the doctors found somethin’, and she’d gone away to get treatment. I thought when she came back, I’d propose. Got the ring and everything, but…’

‘But she didn’t come back,’ Bex whispered.

He nodded. ‘No. After that, I dinnae want to marry anyone else. But, with a place like this, there were expectations. Ishbel was the one who introduced me to Winny. And my sister’s got a good read on folk, most of the time anyway. And she was right about that match. Winny an’ I had good years together. She was my best friend, and in lots of ways, that’s all you can hope for.’

Bex nodded, suddenly feeling as if her own heartache paled in comparison. Her feelings for Duncan, whatever they were, would heal with time. But Fergus had lost something irreplaceable.

As she thought of the old man, she remembered the notebook she had found, with the names of all the different hospitals. Was that to do with this love of his life? She was inclined to think it was.

‘Let me give you a piece of advice from an old man,’ Fergus said, studying her intently. ‘Just keep living. We’ve only got one life, and maybe if I’d lived a little more, opened my heart a bit more, I would’ve made more of it. Just keep living, all right?’

‘I will,’ she said, managing a slight smile before she took a long sip of her coffee. ‘I should get dressed,’ she said, looking down at her attire. ‘And then get to work. Lots to do.’

‘You know what?’ Fergus said, a slanted smile rising on his lips. ‘You should take a day off. I think you’ve earned it. And I promise I won’t tell your boss.’

48

The first thing Bex did on her day off was talk to the girls. It was the first time in ages she’d had them both on a video call, and though she’d wanted to appear completely fine and okay, the second they came onto the screen, the tears started tumbling down her cheeks.

‘What the hell happened?’ Daisy said, concern flooding her voice.

‘Oh, nothing, nothing. Just… Duncan and I… we… we…’

There was no way she could keep it from them any longer, and so she didn’t. She told them everything, from the near kiss on the way back from the pub, to the date and the night at his place, and then to the final bit. Katty’s appearance.

‘What?’ Claire gasped.

‘Oh God, I’m so sorry,’ Daisy added.

‘It’s crap. It really is,’ Bex said, wiping at her eyes, ‘but what’s stupid is, I actually hurt for him, almost as much as for myself. Maybe even a bit more.’

‘What? Why?’

‘Because I know he doesn’t want to be with her. He doesn’t. But I know he’s going to do the right thing. That’s the type of person he is. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t love her, he’s going to go back to her. He’s going to be with her and the baby.’

‘Jesus, that’s tough,’ Daisy said, shaking her head.

‘Yeah, that’s one way of putting it…’

Even now, all Bex could think about was Duncan and this relationship he’d be stuck in. He’d told her he and Katty were drifting apart, that they wanted different things, and she’d known he wasn’t lying. Just like the way she’d known he wasn’t lying when they’d been curled up together on his bed and he’d said how he’d never expected to feel anything like what he felt with her. But now he and Katty would be forced together out of a sense of obligation. Both trapped in lives that neither of them really wanted.

‘So what are you going to do?’ Claire asked. ‘I mean, you don’t have to see him, do you?’

‘He doesn’t live at the castle, just on the castle grounds, but no, you’re right. I don’t have to see him. Actually, I was thinking about just taking everything home to sort. All the ledgers and things. Now that I’ve got it organised, I could do a lot of my work at my flat.’

‘Well, why not do that?’

Bex thought about it. She’d considered it when she first arrived at the castle. If she could get the ledgers to fit in the back of her car, she could drive back to London and start sorting it in the comfort of her own home. It would likely take more than one trip, but that was hardly the end of the world. She could head home with half of it now and come back for the rest in a few weeks. Give herself time to get Duncan out of her system, so to speak.

‘It’s something to think about,’ she said. ‘Today, I’m just taking it easy. Fergus has given me the day off.’

‘In the middle of the week?’ Daisy asked, eyebrows raised.

‘Well… I kind of stumbled in in tears this morning,’ she admitted, smiling a little. ‘I think he was worried he’d have to deal with me crying all day if I was working.’

‘I’m sure that’s not it,’ Daisy replied, but the look on her face said otherwise.