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I entered the bathroom and pulled the light cord. “I wouldn’t know. Go ahead and take the first shower. I’ll grab a blanket and pillows for the sofa.”
She gave me a small smile, took her bag into the bathroom, and closed the door.
For a beat, I stood in the centre of the room, reeling with all that had happened in the past few hours. Getting fired, spotting the photographer, then escaping the palace. I was running on empty. In desperate need of sleep. Yet I still felt as much on edge as ever.
I got to work making myself a bed on the couch. Bringing Alex here was an act of friendship, nothing else. Tomorrow, she’d go home, and I’d have no reason to be around her anymore. I got stuck on trying to persuade myself that we could be friends. We couldn’t. An ache formed in my chest at the thought of letting her go. I just needed my body to catch up with what my brain already knew.
Alex emerged from the bathroom in a hoodie and silky shorts. I swallowed then closed myself away to take the world’s fastest shower. I’d killed the water and was towelling off when voices filtered through from the bedroom.
“Welcome to our home, Your Royal Highness.”
“It’s Alex, please. You must be Gordain. Who’s this little guy?”
Shite.I scrubbed the water from my skin and tugged on a pair of basketball shorts, opening the bathroom door with a t-shirt half over my head.
Across the room, Alex stood in the doorway, grinning, and with Gordain’s grandson’s tiny hand in hers in a mini handshake.
Gordain’s eyes met mine over Alex’s head. “I didn’t mean to intrude. This one’s teething again and keeping his parents up. I saw your car so figured you’d come home and decided tocheck in on ye.” A grin stole over his face. “Didnae realise you’d brought a lass.”
“This isn’t a regular occurrence?” Alex kept her gaze light.
Gordain snorted. “With this one? Never.”
I sighed, because he wasn’t going to let me live this down, and swooped in on Torran. “You’ve already done introductions. C’mere, Tor. Meet royalty.”
I swiped the bairn from his grandfather’s tattooed arms. Gordain was as fit and healthy as any of us, despite being in his sixties and a man I respected as a father figure.
I hoisted the little boy in the air so he giggled, and we sketched a bow to Alex. She laughed, and Torran flapped his arms. Both he and his older brother, Finn, were our principals, protected along with their parents, and that meant each of us spent one-on-one time with the kids so they knew and trusted us.
“I’ve naw seen ye in a while, and here ye are, popping out new teeth.” I frowned at the bairn. “But what’s this about keeping everyone awake? That’s no good.”
Torran released a string of baby babble, some of his sounds close to actual words but not there yet.
I twisted back to find Alex’s gaze on me, her cheeks flushed pink.
She turned to Gordain. “I’m really sorry to show up unannounced.”
“Nae bother. You’re welcome here. I’m sorry again for the interruption, though I’ve got to say it was a surprise when a princess opened the door.” His mouth fell open in a delighted smirk, and he regarded me. “Trust Raphael to keep me guessing. Give me back the bairn and I’ll leave ye in peace.”
I guided Alex away from the door. “No can do. We’re keeping him. See ye.”
I shut Gordain mostly out, and Torran gave a sweet little laugh, peeking through the gap at his granddad. Then he yawned, and I relented, opening it back up to return him. “Think he’s tired now.”
Gordain accepted him. “Then I’m glad I came down. Night, folks.” He gave me one last searching look that told me everything about how he worried for me and whatever the hell I was doing, then left us.
I locked the door. Put my back to it. “I’m sorry about that. I should’ve messaged him.”
“It’s okay. Gordain seems lovely, and seeing you with a baby was—” She mimed mind blowing.
“He’s like a father to me. Or better. He’d taught me what a father should be. I told ye what my actual dad is like.”
Alex perched on the bed and unwound her hair from the complicated updo she’d worn to the gala. Her make-up was gone now, too, and by degrees, she changed from public person to herself.
My stare only intensified when she stripped the hoodie over her head.
She patted the mattress. “Come here.”
I couldn’t. I was trapped between two opposing forces: wanting her so badly I could hardly breathe, and needing to give her a safe space with no expectation.