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“I don't care how long it takes,” I snap, my free hand clenching into a fist. “Just get it done. Use every resource we have. Spies, telecoms, whatever it takes. I want that number on my desk within the hour.”
I hang up before he can respond, my heart pounding in my chest. I know I'm being irrational, letting my emotions get the best of me. But the thought of Quinn out there, unsure of what she’s feeling, is enough to drive me to the brink of madness.
The minutes tick by with agonizing slowness, each second feeling like an eternity.
Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, my phone buzzes with an incoming message. I snatch it up, my eyes scanning the screen frantically. There, in black and white, is a phone number. Quinn's number.
I don't hesitate; I don't stop to think. I punch in the numbers with shaking fingers, my breath catching in my throat as I lift the phone to my ear. It rings once, twice, three times. Each unanswered ring feels like a knife to my gut, twisting deeper with every passing second.
And then, just when I think I can't take it anymore, the line clicks and a familiar voice fills my ear. “Hello?”
“Quinn,” I breathe, her name falling from my lips like a prayer. “It's me.”
There's a long pause, and for a moment, I'm terrified that she's going to hang up. But then she speaks, her voice soft and uncertain. “Mark? What are you doing?”
“I needed to hear your voice,” I confess, the words tumbling out in a rush. “I needed to know that you were okay.”
“I'm fine,” she says, but I can hear the waver in her tone.
“You left!” My voice comes out more like an accusation, and less from concern. I take a deep breath, then speak gently. “What happened, Quinn? If you wanted to leave, all you had to do was speak to me about it.”
“I didn’t know I could,” she says, simply.
“Didn’t know you could?” I ask, incredulously. “Were you and I living under the same roof, sharing the same bed?”
“But Mark, we had a deal. A contract. You said Charlie Letvin won’t be a problem and that I was a free bird. You said we should enjoy our last few days together. I couldn't just—”
“Dear god, Quinn. I never expected you to live under my roof unless you wanted to. I only meant our last few days togetherin that house. I only said it because I didn’t wish to assume more than it was from your end. To hell with the contract,” I growl, my grip tightening on the phone. “Quinn,what we had was more than just some verbal agreement. It was real.”
“Was it?” she asks, and the vulnerability in her voice nearly undoes me. “Because from where I'm standing, it seems like maybe it was all just part of the game. And if it wasn’t, I couldn’t have known, could I? Unless you expected me to read your mind.”
I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to make her understand. “Quinn, I know I've made mistakes. I know I haven't always been honest with you about how I feel. But you’ve come to mean something to me... It's not a game. It's real, and it's overwhelming, and it scares the hell out of me. I miss you, god damn it.”
There's a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. “Mark, I... I don't know what to say.”
“Just tell me you feel it too,” I plead, my heart pounding in my chest. “Tell me I'm not alone in this.”
“You're not,” she whispers, and for a moment, hope soars in my chest. But then she continues, her voice growing stronger. “I miss you too. But Mark, I can't do this. Not now. I need time to think, to figure out what I want.”
Frustration wells up inside me, but I force it back down. “How much time?”
“I don't know,” she admits. “I’ve never been in such a situation before.”
Her words are like a punch to the gut, but I know she's right. I've given her every reason to doubt me, to question my intentions. If I want a future with her, I'm going to have to prove myself worthy of her trust.
I clench my jaw, frustration and longing battling within me. Her admission only confirms what I already knew—Quinn was fiercely independent, even guarded, and accustomed to charting her own course without anyone else's input. Despite the ache in my chest at her words, I couldn't fault her for needing space to make a decision.
“Okay,” I say softly, my heart aching with the weight of all the things left unsaid between us. “I'll give you time, Quinn. As much as you need. But I'm not giving up on us. On what we could be.”
She stays silent for a long moment, and I can almost hear the gears turning in her mind. “I'm not making any promises,” she finally says. “But... thank you, Mark. For understanding.”
“Always,” I murmur, closing my eyes against the sudden sting of tears. “I'll be here when you're ready, Quinn. I'm not going anywhere.”
The line goes dead, and I'm left alone with the weight of my own emotions. But beneath the pain and the uncertainty, there's a flicker of hope. A promise of something more, if only I can be patient enough to wait for it.
Chapter 23 - Quinn
My finger hovers over the call button next to Mark's name. I miss the warmth of his voice and the sparkle in those slate blue eyes. However, I hesitate, the weight of our complicated relationship pressing down. I asked him for space, and calling now would only create confusion when I'm still unsure of what to do next.