Page 84 of Innocent Bratva Twins

At least when I’m sleeping, I don’t have to hurt.

Chapter 23 - Nico

She’s been gone for three days and apart from one message each night, just before she goes to sleep, I have not been in contact with her.

I never knew it would be this hard to honor her wish.

Every day is a battle between my heart and my head.

In my heart, I’m raging, furious, disgusted with myself that I let her leave so easily.

In my head, I’m aware that caging her would have torn us apart. This is the only way. Letting her go was my only chance of ever winning her back.

But the fear of never being that close to her again is crippling me.

“Alright, I think that’s everything,” Luka says, glancing down at the meeting notes.

Rodion nods and stands up. “Great. Let me know when that shipment is out.”

“Will do.”

Around me, the guys chat about things we have to do while I sit, silent and heavy, staring straight ahead.

My family has tried to be there for me, but what can they do to unbreak my heart? They can’t help me.

I’ve been doing my best to focus on the bratva business and my offices, but no matter what I do, she’s on my mind.

Someone slaps their hand against my shoulder, squeezing tightly.

“You doing ok, man?” I look up into Radmir’s eyes. His smile is genuine.

“I’m good.” I lie.

“We’re heading out to see the new range of SUVs we’re ordering for the workforce. Do you want to tag along for the ride?”

“No, thanks, man. I’ve got some things I need to do.” I lie again.

“No problem. Will you give me a call this evening once you've looked at the details of the new Andrei lead?”

“Of course. I’ll do that.”

Why does everything sound so robotic? So empty. Void of life. I guess it’s because the one thing that will make me feel alive has left.

He squeezes my shoulder again and then lets go, leaving me to my thoughts and my pain.

A new lead about Andrei should excite me. A chance to find my little brother's best friend. A chance to do right by him.

But it doesn’t.

There is no heart in anything anymore.

The days are empty, and I spend most of them wanting it to end so that I can go to sleep and stop my heartache.

I listen to people. I reply. I don’t add anything valuable to conversations.

Often, I find myself staring into space without thinking at all.

Although I do think—I think aboutherwhile I try desperately not to think about her.