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“But you liked him?”
“Derrick, why are you doing this? He is the past. Henry gave me a picture with one person he was looking at and asked us if we knew who he was, so I looked at this picture and thought about all the people I have ever met and saw him.”
“But you never saw me,” Derrick said softly.
“I wasn’t looking for you, Derrick,” Taylor explained in strained tones.
Derrick gave one quick humorless laugh. “Tell me about it.”
Taylor felt her blood boil. “Derrick, I am not going to fight with you about this.” She spun on her heel to walk from the room but Derrick snaked out his arm and grabbed her.
“How many times?” he asked hoarsely.
Taylor shook her head in confusion. “How many times what?”
“How many times did you kiss him?”
Taylor’s face morphed from confusion into anger. “How many other women did you screw before me?” she asked in irritation and yanked her arm from him as she stomped quickly from the room.
* * *
She wasn’t entirelysure where she was going, she just knew she had to get as much space away from Derrick as possible. When she stopped, she found herself on the back patio of the mansion. The cool slate under her feet and the chilly air in her nostrils helped calm the burning inferno of rage that had settled within her.
Taylor leaned against the patio’s railing, braced herself with her palms against the stone, and looked out over the shrubs and shadows before her.
As Taylor allowed her body to cool down from the heat of her anger, her mind started to clear. And now, standing in the dusk of the California sunset and separated from their heated debate, she understood why Derrick was mad.
He probably went to the coffee shop and stared her down while she worked and Taylor didn’t notice a thing. Thinking about it now she wondered how shehadmissed him, but it was true what she said. She honestly had not been looking for him. If there was one person that she had been certain would never attempt to find her, it was Derrick Fletcher.
But if she was really honest with herself, Derrick was the only person she had ever wanted to find her, the only one she ever wanted to see her. But he hadn’t. While she had been right in front of him, he had ignored her and toyed with her. She had been brokenhearted. And being rejected made you do stupid things like try to find a replacement for the one your heart wanted.
But Taylor realized that love made you do stupid things, too. Like wonder if your wife, who was abducted after being gone for a long time and then married you under some pretty tense circumstances, really did love you. Or if the guy who was in her life immediately before you suddenly reappeared, would it make her realize that she wanted to be with him and not you? It hit Taylor that her not ever having noticed him when he came to see her in the coffee shop just magnified his fears.
Taylor’s life had turned into a chaotic season of a soap opera in just a few months and the worst part was it was all making sense to her. And she realized she needed to make the move to the next scene. The make up scene.
Taylor turned away from the backyard to make her way back into the house only to find her husband leaning on the doorway to the patio.
“I was trying to tell if it was a good time to apologize or if you were still pissed,” he said soberly.
“Derrick, you don’t—”
“You know how you keep saying you almost lost me?” he interrupted as he made his way to her. “That is exactly how I feel every time I see you. I am so happy you are here and you are mine and I just want to hold you because I almost lost you, Taylor. And sometimes, I am still not sure I am who you want.”
“You are, Derrick,” Taylor said going over to him. “I am where I want to be.” Her voice begged for him to believe her.
“I know that my past is horrific,” he said, “but there is no place I wanted to be other than with you, even when I knew I wasn’t good for you. And as amazing as I know that I am in a lot of ways, I still need reassurance that you want me.” He swallowed back emotions Taylor could see bubbling up. “I need it a lot because I want this to be real for both of us.” He gently took a lock of her blonde strands and smoothed them between his fingers.
“I don’t want him, Derrick. I wanted you to see me, and you did a great job convincing me that you didn’t want me that way. I was trying to hide. I made it a habit my whole life to ignore people staring at me. I especially avoided attention while I was hiding out. I never thought you would be there looking for me, so I didn’t see you.”
Derrick nodded. “I know,” he said coming closer. “But I love you,” he whispered, “and I want you to see only me now.”
“Well, you’re awfully close so I don’t really have a choice,” Taylor replied with a smirk.
Derrick rolled his eyes, “Hardee-har-har. One other thing, Tay. I need to work,” he said seriously. “All this resting and recovering is leaving me with idle time. I need to keep busy.”
“You are busy,” she defended. “You have physical therapy, and—”
“Please, Tay,” he pleaded. “I can still do all of that. I don’t want to go back to the office or anything, but I need to do something, anything, to get my life back to normal.”