Page 49

The lock clicked open as I turned the key. Before I pushed open the door, I looked back at Victoria and her bright red car one more time. She smiled at me, lifting her hand to wave goodbye.

I didn’t want to shout and risk waking anyone up. So instead, I mouthed:See you soon.

A smile crept onto her face as she nodded.

Pushing open the door, I stepped into the dark entryway. Then, as quietly as I could, I eased the door shut behind me and leaned against it for a moment, the night finally washing over me in the silence of my home.

Letting a sigh seep from my lungs, I took off my heels and headed upstairs. From the brief glimpse I caught from the doorway, I could already tell the kitchen was a mess. But I shook it off and plodded along; that was a problem for tomorrow.

The closer I got to my bedroom, the more evidence of a fun night I encountered: toys on the stairs, stained kids’ clothes draped over the railing, crayons littered across the floor.

I giggled as I pictured Robin and Zoey managing my mongrels.

When I reached the landing, heels in hands, I shifted onto my tippy toes and slowly crept down the hallway, poking my head into each doorway as I passed by.

First: Derek’s room. It was dark, his baseball shaped night light no longer illuminated to keep the monsters away. He’doutgrown it in just the last couple weeks. Every time I put him in bed, I wanted to flick it on. Just once more, for old time's sake.

But now, he slept like a starfish across the full-sized bed.

I kept my giggle to myself and blew him a silent kiss before moving down to Ava’s room. But the orange glow of her Minecraft light showed me that the room was empty. Which meant there was only one place she could be.

So I moved to the last door in the hallway, where four pairs of feet stuck out from the tiny twin mattress: Leila’s at the center of the bed; Ava’s cuddled up on top of her; and Robin and Zoey on either side, hands intertwined over the kids' heads.

My eyes welled up. A couple years ago, I wasn’t sure Zoey was completely unreachable, too wrapped up with her big city life to spend much time in New Winford. Back then, I feared she would ever be as close to my babies as I’d wanted. But now, here she was with the love of her life, snuggling with my two sweeties.

I watched them like that for just a few minutes before I could hardly stand upright. Blowing them four silent kisses, I left the doorway and finally stepped into my room.

Closing the door almost entirely, I let out a loud breath. I dropped the heels on my area rug, letting the fabric dampen the clatter. With tired hands, I peeled the tight dress off of my body and let it fall to the ground. I didn’t bother to hang it up, saving the little energy I had left to wipe off whatever makeup was left on my face and throw myself into bed.

In a matter of seconds, my eyes were drifting closed, and I was fading into sleep. Every time I breathed, I pictured a different woman in my bed. First, it was Vic. Then, it was Bri. Then, it was both of them.

I tried to shake them off as sleep took over my mind.

These two are going to ruin me.

25

BRI

My phone buzzedacross the shop. As safely as I could, I turned off the circular saw and jogged across the room. I knew exactly who it was even before the screen lit up with the words.

How’s it going over there? Would love a picture.

A blush rose to my cheeks at just her name. Sarah had some kind of insane grip on me that I still couldn’t explain. But this was the fourth table update she’d asked for in a few days. She was getting desperate to see what I’d done so far.

But I couldn’t just send a picture. It still needed to be sanded, stained, and sealed. And until then, the piece wouldn’t look how I wanted it to.

I typed out a message before heading back to my work.

No pics. Going well. It’ll be done on time. I miss you.

The whir of the circular saw was the soundtrack to my day as I cut out small detail pieces. They had to be added before thesanding and the staining but would be intricate and require a delicate hand.

My mind was swimming with images of Sarah. When I told Cleo about our rendezvous, they were thrilled to hear all of the gory details. But when it came to what this looked like long term, they were a lot more hesitant. Cleo had seen me fawn over Sarah listlessly for over a decade and didn’t want to see me get hurt again. They reminded me how badly it had hurt when Sarah and Jason got together and urged me to protect my heart if I felt like she wasn’t ready.

Of course I would try to. But Sarah was something otherworldly. I would’ve waited a hundred lifetimes for her. And then a few thousand more.

After cutting out a few dozen inch-sized pieces of white ash, I set them in a stack across from the table. It was already getting late in the day, and I was far too exhausted to work on something so fragile.