Page 64
Story: I Hate You More
“No, I remember.”
“And you’ve seen how he operates,” she continued. “Half the girls in school are in love with him despite the fact he ignores them most of the time. He knows how to manipulate girls.”
I wasn’t sure if that was true or not, but Tessa did have a point. I’d seen how dismissive Chase could be toward girls who liked him. Was that how it would be between us if I gave in to the feelings I was having?
“Ally, he went out of his way to sabotage your first kiss. Even if you did like him, this guy’s not good enough for you. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“He said I jumped to the wrong conclusion about that,” I murmured.
“Well, I’d love to know his explanation because you were devastated for months after that dance. So, what was this misunderstanding?”
“He didn’t say.” My heart deflated as I realized that perhaps my friend was right.
Tessa hesitated before she continued. “Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do about the plan, but just because you’ve had a few nice interactions with the guy, doesn’t mean the rest of the crap he’s done didn’t happen.”
“I know,” I agreed before letting out a breath. “You’re right.”
“You’ve just got to try and think rationally about this,” she said. “Things at your house would be so much worse if you dated for a bit and then he broke your heart.”
I swallowed a thick lump in my throat. I’d already considered what would happen if I allowed myself to have feelings for Chase and it didn’t work out, but her words made it seem more real, and I found myself surprisingly upset. Tessa was painting a picture of a very possible future, and it was starting to concern me. Chase was a master at making me miserable, and I didn’t want to give him the power to do that to me again.
Movement caught the corner of my eye, and I turned as the front door of my house opened and Chase walked out. His jeans and fitted T-shirt were much smarter than the messy outfit I’d thrown on, and he looked fresh, like he hadn’t lost an ounce of sleep. His hair was ruffled, as always, but unlike me he suited the slightly unkempt look. If anything, it made him sexier. He looked in my direction and smiled when he caught sight of me. His expression was filled with warmth, like he was genuinely happy to see me, and I hated that I couldn’t return the affection. Instead, I quickly looked back toward the road.
“So, are you going to go through with the plan?” Tessa asked.
I chewed on my lower lip as I considered my answer. I still needed more time to figure out my emotions, but just how much time would be enough? I felt as though I could agonize over the decision forever and still have no idea what to do. My heart was telling me to abandon the plan, but my mind was firmly telling me to stick with it. Everything Tessa had said about Chase rung true, and I couldn’t ignore her advice just because my heart didn’t like it.
I slowly started to nod as my head won out. “Like you said, I have to think rationally about this. If I don’t go through with the plan now, chances are pretty high that I’ll regret it later. I think I need to do it.”
“It will mean kissing him again,” Tessa said.
“But this time making sure my dad catches us,” I added, but the thought of him seeing us kiss was slightly mortifying. I was going to get in so much trouble, but it would be worse for Chase. Guilt flared in my chest. It was hot and acidic, like a horrible case of reflux. I tried to ignore it, but the heat only intensified.
“What should I do next?” I asked, desperate to get the whole thing over and done with as quickly as possible.
“We’ll need to find another opportunity when your dad will be around,” Tessa said. “How about the football game this Friday night? You can try again.”
I shook my head though. “Shane has a bye this week.”
“Next week then?”
“I need to do this sooner rather than later,” I replied. “Dad will be home all weekend. We need to make it happen.”
Tessa nodded. “We will.”
“But what should I do?”
She paused as she considered the question. “Ask Chase to watch a movie with you,” she said. “Your dad is the only one who ever answers your home phone so I’ll call it during the movie and ask to speak to you. The phone ringing will be your cue to kiss Chase, and when your Dad brings the phone to you, he’ll catch you both.”
“And you think that will work?”
“I’m sure of it.” Her voice was calm and eased the panic that was starting to bubble in my stomach. She reached out to take my hand and squeezed it tightly. “I think you’re making the right choice.”
I wished I could agree with her. I might have been making the logical choice, but I wasn’t sure it was one my heart agreed with.
* * *
“Ally, you in there?”Chase asked, knocking on my bedroom door.
“And you’ve seen how he operates,” she continued. “Half the girls in school are in love with him despite the fact he ignores them most of the time. He knows how to manipulate girls.”
I wasn’t sure if that was true or not, but Tessa did have a point. I’d seen how dismissive Chase could be toward girls who liked him. Was that how it would be between us if I gave in to the feelings I was having?
“Ally, he went out of his way to sabotage your first kiss. Even if you did like him, this guy’s not good enough for you. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“He said I jumped to the wrong conclusion about that,” I murmured.
“Well, I’d love to know his explanation because you were devastated for months after that dance. So, what was this misunderstanding?”
“He didn’t say.” My heart deflated as I realized that perhaps my friend was right.
Tessa hesitated before she continued. “Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do about the plan, but just because you’ve had a few nice interactions with the guy, doesn’t mean the rest of the crap he’s done didn’t happen.”
“I know,” I agreed before letting out a breath. “You’re right.”
“You’ve just got to try and think rationally about this,” she said. “Things at your house would be so much worse if you dated for a bit and then he broke your heart.”
I swallowed a thick lump in my throat. I’d already considered what would happen if I allowed myself to have feelings for Chase and it didn’t work out, but her words made it seem more real, and I found myself surprisingly upset. Tessa was painting a picture of a very possible future, and it was starting to concern me. Chase was a master at making me miserable, and I didn’t want to give him the power to do that to me again.
Movement caught the corner of my eye, and I turned as the front door of my house opened and Chase walked out. His jeans and fitted T-shirt were much smarter than the messy outfit I’d thrown on, and he looked fresh, like he hadn’t lost an ounce of sleep. His hair was ruffled, as always, but unlike me he suited the slightly unkempt look. If anything, it made him sexier. He looked in my direction and smiled when he caught sight of me. His expression was filled with warmth, like he was genuinely happy to see me, and I hated that I couldn’t return the affection. Instead, I quickly looked back toward the road.
“So, are you going to go through with the plan?” Tessa asked.
I chewed on my lower lip as I considered my answer. I still needed more time to figure out my emotions, but just how much time would be enough? I felt as though I could agonize over the decision forever and still have no idea what to do. My heart was telling me to abandon the plan, but my mind was firmly telling me to stick with it. Everything Tessa had said about Chase rung true, and I couldn’t ignore her advice just because my heart didn’t like it.
I slowly started to nod as my head won out. “Like you said, I have to think rationally about this. If I don’t go through with the plan now, chances are pretty high that I’ll regret it later. I think I need to do it.”
“It will mean kissing him again,” Tessa said.
“But this time making sure my dad catches us,” I added, but the thought of him seeing us kiss was slightly mortifying. I was going to get in so much trouble, but it would be worse for Chase. Guilt flared in my chest. It was hot and acidic, like a horrible case of reflux. I tried to ignore it, but the heat only intensified.
“What should I do next?” I asked, desperate to get the whole thing over and done with as quickly as possible.
“We’ll need to find another opportunity when your dad will be around,” Tessa said. “How about the football game this Friday night? You can try again.”
I shook my head though. “Shane has a bye this week.”
“Next week then?”
“I need to do this sooner rather than later,” I replied. “Dad will be home all weekend. We need to make it happen.”
Tessa nodded. “We will.”
“But what should I do?”
She paused as she considered the question. “Ask Chase to watch a movie with you,” she said. “Your dad is the only one who ever answers your home phone so I’ll call it during the movie and ask to speak to you. The phone ringing will be your cue to kiss Chase, and when your Dad brings the phone to you, he’ll catch you both.”
“And you think that will work?”
“I’m sure of it.” Her voice was calm and eased the panic that was starting to bubble in my stomach. She reached out to take my hand and squeezed it tightly. “I think you’re making the right choice.”
I wished I could agree with her. I might have been making the logical choice, but I wasn’t sure it was one my heart agreed with.
* * *
“Ally, you in there?”Chase asked, knocking on my bedroom door.
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