Page 28

Story: However You Want Me

I feel like I’ve been running. I can’t catch my breath. My lungs burn like I ran for miles, but?—

Where am I? Fuck!

I flex my hands again. My knuckles are sore and slightly bruised. My entire body aches, actually. My thighs hurt and my core. What did I do? Get tackled? There’s nobody here with me. I wait a moment, listening, but all I can hear is my own heavy panting.

Adrenaline courses through my veins, making me alert and awake, but why?

I check again, searching up and down the alley. Nobody’s here. It’s quiet aside from the sounds of cars far off. There are some very distant voices that sound like people coming out of the bar.

I blink harder, trying to get my bearings. This is an alley near my house. Closer to the bar, though. A few blocks past. I could’ve walked here.

Did I walk here? If I did, I can’t remember it at all.

Jesus. Why am I so out of breath? Did I run here? Was I running from someone or chasing after someone? I hunch down, my palms on my knees. And as a couple walks past the opening, I hide in the shadows. What the fuck happened?

Shit. Shit. Shit!

I had to be doing something here. Did I go to the bar? My tongue doesn’t taste beer, so I probably wasn’t at the bar, or if I was, I was there hours ago. I don’t feel like I usually do after a drink with the guys.

Jesus. What day is it even?

“Dean?” Her voice startles me.

Shit. I wipe my hands down on my jeans, and turn my back to her. “Yeah?” I call. “You okay?”

“Dean, what—” Her footsteps move closer. “What are you doing here?”

“I know, I?—”

A woman I know walks out, her hair pulled back and her eyes wide. The girl my Dad wants to meet.

Her gasp cuts me off. “Dean, what happened? Oh my God. Did you hurt yourself?” Concern is etched in every syllable.

She reaches out frantically and takes my hand. It’s still covered in blood. Wiping it off didn’t do any good.

She turns it over with a gentle touch. “What happened?” I watch her face, filled with shock as she glances between my hand and my shirt and then finally looks me in the eyes. I swallow thickly.

“I don’t know,” I admit. Fear washes through me. Fear of what she’ll know, of what she’ll think of me… of what I’ll have to do.

Her eyes move over my face and my clothes and her mouth presses into a thin line. Just then the dark sky opens and a light rain gathers. She pulls her light jacket tighter around herself. The dew drops gathering on her coat and in her dark brunette hair.

I don’t know how, but understanding passes between us.

“Let’s go,” she says quietly. Keeping my hand in hers, she leads the way out of the alley and quickly down the street. She hustles to keep up with my gait and we stay on the sidewalk on the opposite street that’s mostly residential, lacks streetlights, and barely a soul is out on this side of the street.

Questions race through my mind. It’s all too much. It’s like a whirlwind in my mind with nothing sitting still long enough for me to think clearly about anything.

What was I doing over here? How did she know to find me? Who’s fucking blood is on me?

I don’t ask any questions. I just go with her, matching her fast, determined pace. She looks all around us as we go back to my house. Her hand is tight on mine.

Protecting me. Her… protecting me. My gut twists and a voice in the back of my head screams that I’m pathetic. It sounds like him. Like Mr. Jay and the other guards. Their voices chase me down the street, urging me to walk faster and get home. Where I can lock the door and just try to think. Try to remember.

Nobody’s following us that I can see. Although the adrenaline coursing through my veins makes my hands tremble.

I’m still a little shaken up about finding myself in that alley by the time she opens my door, and once we’re in, she closes and locks it. I watch her as she stares at the locked door a moment longer and then faces me.

My chest is still heaving and I don’t know what to say or how to explain a damn thing.