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Fourteen

Claire had threatened to drag him out of his condo if he didn’t join their friend group at the blood bar tonight. Ryker had made a counteroffer: he would enjoy a night out as his reward for cracking the toughest case he’d had this year. Of course, she’d refused.

“Tonight, Maddox. If you don’t show up, we’ll come for you.”

He hated admitting it even to himself, but maybe a break would help him think better when he returned to the documents he’d been scouring for three days and three nights. Leslie’s words about resting for his own sake, seeing that the worlddidn’tend that day weeks ago after he let himself sleep before his work was done… It had all sprouted roots deep inside him, made him rethink his need to push himself beyond his limits. Maybe…maybe he was more than the sum of his accomplishments. Maybe he was a person who was allowed to take a break and see friends.

He got in his car and started driving, and he was almost to the bar when his phone buzzed from his car’s center console. He swiped to accept the call and set it back in its place. He wasalready smiling. Regardless of mental fatigue and mathematical annoyance, he couldn’t take a call from Leslie without smiling.

“Have a good time with Hannah?”

“Ryker.” Unshed tears strained her voice.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“We have to talk.”

“Are you okay? Are you safe?”

“I’m safe. I’m not hurt or anything like that. But I’m not okay.”

He turned into a bank parking lot, long since closed for the evening, and shut off his car. He would sit here as long as she needed him. But Leslie had gone quiet.

“What do we need to talk about?”

“Us. We have to talk about us.”

Frozen panic gripped his chest. He didn’t breathe. At all. He kept his voice calm and open, but it took every ounce of will he had. “I’m listening, Leslie.”

“Long distance isn’t going to work. Not long-term.”

He’d worked this puzzle as best he could, but pitching his solution to Leslie after dating barely two months had seemed potentially off-putting, so he’d kept it to himself and continued ironing out the details. But now wasn’t the time to pitch either, not while she was so upset. So instead he only said, “I agree.”

“I knew you would.”

“We can work on a plan.”

“No. We can’t.”

The cold fist squeezing his chest seemed to grow claws. He rested his forehead on the steering wheel. His hands curled tightly at his sides.

“I’m sorry,” Leslie said. “I thought I’d do anything for you, Ryker. I thought I’d even move to Virginia. But I wouldn’t be myself. I wouldn’t be the same artist or the same person, and—and I’ve tried to talk myself into doing it anyway, but I can’t.” She heaved a hard, dry sob. “I can’t.”

Ryker fought to regain his own calm. She hadn’t said she didn’t love him. His fists opened a little. He drew in a ragged breath that sounded weak as a human’s.

She said, “I know I’m hurting you, and I’m so, so sorry. But the only way for me to let go of Harmony Ridge is to become someone else. It’s like I’m being torn in half just thinking about moving away.”

The tears were rising in her voice, threatening to break free. Ryker picked up his phone from the console and cradled it in his hands as if he could comfort her this way.

“We’re going to figure this out, Leslie.”

“There’s nothing to figure out. I won’t ask you to do something I’m not able to do. It would be wrong, and—and over time we’d resent each other. Because that’s what always happens when you give up too many pieces of yourself to make the other person happy.”

“When did I ask you to give up pieces of yourself?”

Shoot, he didn’t mean to snap. He nearly crushed the phone by accident, a mistake he hadn’t made since he was sixteen years old. He dropped it into his lap and rested his forehead on the wheel again.

“You haven’t yet,” she said.