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The wolfhound did not hesitate. He hurried to his feet and with a snarl at Slayer, rushed to follow Sky.

CHAPTER18

Slayer waited for a short time then entered the keep with a furious scowl on his face and issued an order for Euniss to bring ale to his solar. When the only two servants there fled the Great Hall, he went and hurried up the stairs to his bedchamber.

Sky rushed to him as soon as he stepped into the room, and his arms closed around her. They stood there silently hugging each other tight, savoring the moment and the warmth and strength of each other. A light rap on the door had them stepping apart.

Slayer opened it, expecting to see Euniss standing there and stepped aside for her to enter.

“I delivered the ale to your solar as directed so everyone believes you are there. However, I thought you could use some wine and a bit of food while you talk.” She set the tray on a small table. “There is much for you to consider, my lord, but do remember that your mum had great love for you and greater faith in you.”

“You feel betrayed, don’t you?” Sky said, reaching out to take hold of her husband’s hand after Euniss left.

He looked puzzled. “How did you know that?”

“I feel a touch of betrayal by my father for not being truthful with me and my sisters when he learned we were in danger. I also feel a sense of guilt for feeling that way, yet I cannot help but think that it would have been prudent of him to confide in us.”

“Aye, I do feel betrayed by both my father and brother, and I question the bond I thought I had with Warrand. He stood beside my father the day he announced I would train vigorously and join an elite group of mercenaries that was being formed. Warrand listened to me pledge my life to protecting him and his heirs. Both my father and brother claimed it was an honor for me to do this. How could it be an honor when love for my brother and clan would have allowed me to do nothing less? I felt no honor that day. I felt less important as though my life meant nothing to either of them.”

“So, that is what turned you heartless,” she said, her heart hurting for him as she eased herself into the crook of his arm and wrapped her arm around his waist.

“It was the beginning, battle after battle adding to it until I found myself not caring for anyone or anything. My only purpose in life… die for my brother and clan.”

“No more is that your purpose. Your purpose now is to lead your clan wisely, live an honorable life, be a good husband, and produce an abundance of heirs to secure the survival of Clan Ravinsher.”

“It is not easy to let go of the Gallowglass warrior in me.”

“I believe in time, when the chaos settles, that he will leave you.”

He shook his head. “He will never leave me. He was forged with fire and sword and the cry of battle is in his blood, a cry that he will never be able to ignore.”

“Then it is time for you to search for something new to be forged inside you. Something stronger than fire and sword and the cry of battle.”

“There is nothing stronger.”

“Aye, there is, but only you can find it,” she said, “and once you do, then and only then will life hold new meaning for you.”

“An impossible search.”

“An easy one, if you trust,” she said, for she had trusted and found the unexpected… love.

She stepped away from him reluctantly when she would have much rather kissed him, but that would lead to coupling, and she knew he needed more time to talk. So, she went and poured them each a tankard of wine.

“Honor has my time better spent tracking down who killed my father and brother and Clyde. I will not waste my time on an impossible search that benefits only me,” he said.

“It may not only benefit you,” she said, her heart having felt heavy when she learned of Clyde’s death. She had not known him but the brief moment she shared with him was enough to see he’d been a decent man and Slayer had confirmed that when he spoke of him.

He took a swallow of wine then thought a moment more. “Rory could be speaking the truth about what he heard.”

“With Rory being a known liar, I would assume a partial truth lies somewhere in his words. Perhaps this man and Verina were friends, and he was there to help her if necessary. Or perhaps she was forced or coerced into poisoning your father,” Sky suggested.

“So, Verina could have coupled with my father to win his trust,” Slayer said with disgust then downed the rest of his wine. He went to the table to refill his tankard. “I believed my father did what he did for the survival of the clan, but I wonder now if there was more to it than only that. I wonder if it was power he was hungry for and in his search for it he got caught up in something that cost him his life and Warrand’s as well. He pushed me hard to become a fearless and feared warrior, a leader in the Gallowglass. He told me repeatedly to never accept defeat, to fear no one, to let no one stand in my way, to kill without thought or remorse, to care for no one and not to be foolish enough to let anyone care for me. He got the ferocious beast he wanted until there came a time when he, himself, feared the beast he created.” He turned an angry glare at her. “Even you fear me.”

She did not see his anger. She only saw his pain. He reminded her of a few of the animals in the forest, leery at first to approach her, not sure if they should trust but so desperately wanting to. He knew she feared him at times, she had admitted it to him. It wasn’t that he was looking for her to confirm. He was looking to see if she could care for him.

Sky went to him and took the tankard from his hand to place on the table then she took hold of his hands. “I was given no choice to marry you. But I have a choice whether I will care for you or not. You made that easy by choosing to become my friend, something no one has ever done, so I will always care for you… but—” She felt him stiffen. “I made the choice alone to love you with all my heart and that I will do even beyond my dying day.”

Something shattered in Slayer, broke away, released him to be embraced with an intense joy he never thought existed or was even possible. He recalled the one specific time they had coupled and how he had thought of feeling loved. He had been right. His wife loved him, and he so wanted to love her in return, but he wasn’t sure how.