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I gasp, then sway against the door as dizziness hits me.

“Dammit, are you okay?” Concern colors his voice.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’tlookfine.”

Cursing, he grabs me by the waist and lifts me from the door.

“Mason, put me down.”

He ignores me. Heat ripples through me when he sits and pulls me into his lap.

“I tell you I’m in love with you, and the first thing you do is pass out?”

“You’re not in love with me.” The pain that grips me when I say it makes me groan. “You can’t be.”

“Why the hell not?”

My heart tears wide open as I stare at him. “You know what I did. I gave my child away because I couldn’t cope. It wasn’t his fault, Mason. And yet, I couldn’t stand the sight of him when he was put in my arms.” I shudder in remembrance. “He screamed so loud I thought I harmed him.”

“Baby, don’t do this to yourself.”

“Why not? You know what I felt when he was taken away?”

He remains silent.

“Relief. I wasgladhe was gone.”

“If you truly were, would you be suffering as you are now? Would you not have gone on with your life, never giving him another thought? Instead, you’ve spent the last six years ripping yourself apart about it.”

He inhales, and I wonder if I’m imagining his chest shake beneath my shoulder.

One hand captures my chin and tilts my face up to his. His heart-stopping features explode across my brain, and I’m dizzy all over again. I want to touch him so bad that I curl my hands into fists to stop myself from reaching for him.

“What? You don’t want me to tell you how I feel because it’s not what you want to hear? Or because you don’t love me back?” His eyes are alive with heat. And frantic with apprehension. Deep with an emotion I don’t want to acknowledge, in case it’s a dream.

“Mason…”

“You know me, better than anyone on this earth. I’ve suffered a great loss and repaid it with acts that will stain my soul for eternity. There’s a man locked up in a mental institution who will never be whole again because of what I did to him. I have to live with that.” His head drops forward, and his forehead rests against my cheek. “I left the yacht and stayed away from you because I knew it was wrong of me to ask you to live with it too. But I can’t do it, baby. I know what hell feels like. Being without you has been beyond any pain I could’ve imagined. I can’t go through life not knowing if there might be the sliver of hope that you’ll say yes. That you’ll let me love you and worship you, that you’ll let me pay for what I did by allowing me to devote my life to you.”

He lifts his head, and I see the sheen of tears in his eyes.

I shiver uncontrollably.

His face twists. “You can’t, can you?”

“Mason—”

“It’s okay.” His arm convulses around me. “I’ll let you go in a minute. Just… let me hold you for one last time.”

“Mason…”

“Please, kitten. Just one minute.”

I stay silent, let him hold me, let myself drown in the heat and joy and completeness of being with the other half of my soul.

When the minute is up, he groans. “God, what the fuck am I going to do?” His voice bleeds naked anguish.