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He’d told the cops, when they arrived, that he’d come up with the idea. Because he knew that his family would cover for him but hers might not.

She would stay on this side of the line, with work and everything else that might kill her, because she owed Cole her life, even if it felt like she didn’t deserve to. Even if it felt like she never worked hard enough to earn that. And she would stay on this side of the line when it came to love, because she’d almost killed the only person she’d ever loved with her whole heart. He should understand that.

She was so frustrated that he was acting like he didn’t understand that.

“Is that why you’re so intent on getting me together with Holly?” she said sadly. “Because you think I’ll be happy again, and you’ll be released from your imagined responsibility to make sure I don’t hurt myself? And bonus, she’ll make sure I eat vegetables and sleep?” Tara looked out the window, because she couldn’t look at Cole. “I release you. I, Tara Sloane Chadwick, vow to you, Nicholas Jedediah Fraser III, that I am in no danger of reverting to any of my self-destructive teenage behaviors, and I release you from any obligation you may think you have to protect me.”

Cole didn’t answer, just snorted at her.

She heard him stand up and brush himself off.

“Are you going to stop talking to your shitty, abusive family and working yourself to the bone? Because until you do, I’m still on the clock.”

Tara bristled. “They’re not abusive. Not like Miriam’s parents.”

“Oh, do you want me to go get Miri and ask her what she thinks?” Cole planted his hands on his hips. “I was there, Tar. You were desperate to get free of a home full of people who hated you, and you made a really bad decision—with me. And now you think you deserve to suffer forever in penance, and look, I do not blame you for being an abuse survivor who stays in contact with her abusers. I know it’s not as simple as saying you should walk away.”

When she rose and tried to speak, he held up a hand, and she let him finish because she didn’t have words, and because he never talked about the fire, even obliquely.

“But it’s been half a lifetime now. Can you at least think about starting to forgive yourself?”

Swallowing, she said, “How can I? How could I deserve that?”

He ran a hand down his face. “Have you forgiven me? Do you think I deserve to pay miserable penance for the rest of my life?”

Of course she didn’t. She knew all the reasons why he’d done what he had, and while it didn’t excuse his participation, she knew he had made, and continued to make, restitution.

He held up his hands. “Do you think it might be time for like… trauma therapy? We can go together.”

When she didn’t answer him, he sighed and said, “We’re not done talking about this, but do you want to go eat cake? Because I heard there is some. Available.”

She was going to take this conversational out. Anything to distract him from the fact that she had been up here, working, and that she hadn’t promised him what he’d asked.

“Don’t think I didn’t see your iPad, Chadwick,” he said as they were walking downstairs to the kitchen.

Chapter 20

Holly

The cakes were assembled, frosted, and safely chilling. Cole had been banned from setting foot back in the kitchen.

Now everyone was gathered in the dining and great rooms in a celebratory combination of a rehearsal dinner for the wedding and an anniversary party for all the couples who’d gotten engaged at Carrigan’s over the years. Holly and Tara were seated with Sawyer and Cole, Elijah and Jason Green, Esther Matthews, and an ancient, terrifying woman named Annie who Holly was certain was actually a primeval magical force disguised as an antiques dealer.

As the salad course was served, Holly went to reach across the table for dressing. Her arm brushed against Tara’s, and she saw Tara’s eyes spark. “Do you need this, darlin?” she asked, passing Holly the silver boat full of Mrs. Matthews’s famous vinaigrette.

Holly flushed with embarrassment. “I should have asked instead of reaching. I have those wrong-side-of-the-tracks manners, you know?” She tried to make it a joke.

Tara stopped in the process of passing the dressing to Holly and put down the boat. She took Holly’s hand and squeezed, holding on to it instead of letting go. “Your manners are lovely. Those rules are a scam made up by people in power to keep others out of their little club,” Tara said. “I know this for sure because I was born into the club.” She picked up their clasped hands and kissed Holly’s fingers.

Esther smiled at them both. “You two are very cute together.”

“We are,” Holly agreed, looking at Tara with those heart eyes she’d promised.

“And you kept it a secret from the Carrigan’s crew?” Esther said. “That was probably for the best. They get nosy.”

As she said this, her eyes tracked to Gavi, who was checking on guest needs.

“Nosy?!” Cole protested. “Us? We would never meddle!”