Page 83

“I want this to stop,” she said firmly. “I want all of this to stop. We can all discuss this without the need for bloodshed. I do not know why men have to think of such a thing as the only option.”

“Because it is,” Levi snapped. “This is what must be done in order to protect your honor. This is for your sake. Stand aside, my—Emma. We \ will do what is necessary and then we will do what we must from there.”

“This isn’t necessary!”

“Emma, please. I have to do this for you.”

He saw the way she was searching his face, and he hated what he had done to her, but he couldn’t see any other way. His challenge was issued and they were squaring up to pace when she had arrived. It was too late for such things to be taken back, and this was what had to take place for everyone’s sake.

He only aimed to wound Rosendale, not kill him, as for what it was worth he did not hate the man. He knew that he loved Sarah, but in doing so he was going to ruin her. He had done what was necessary with Emma, and if another man did not want to do the same then he would not hesitate to protect her.

“You do not need to do this,” she said, shaking her head. “We could go home, and pretend that none of this has happened. We can leave right now, and return to the home we share. Do you not want that?”

“Of course, but for your sake–”

“This isn’t for my sake!” she cried. “You are not doing any of this for me, you are doing it to prove that you are a man, which you most certainly are not if this is the only way you know how to handle conflict.”

“Emma, I promise you that I would only ever do this if I thought it would benefit you.”

“Why? Why would you do all of this for me when I have never once asked you to?”

“It doesn’t matter what you want, it matters what you need, and what you need to do is stand aside and allow us to settle things.”

“So that is it?” she asked softly, seeming to give in. “You are going to die?”

“I am willing to do so, yes, if it is for your sake.”

And then, she burst into tears. His heart pounded as he watched her break before him, weeping loudly.

“Why?” she asked. “Why are you so willing to die for me yet so unwilling to live for me? You should be by my side through such things as this, the two of us deciding together what was the right thing to do. You should care what I have to say, but you never have. You simply do as you please and expect me to be grateful for it. Well, Levi, I am not. I am so angry with you, and if you do this then I will never forgive you no matter the outcome. If you follow through with this duel, I will hate you as much as you clearly hate me.”

“Emma, I wish you would listen to me. This has to be done. I am not doing this because I hate you. I am doing this because it is the best that I can do for you.”

But she was inconsolable, and there was no reasoning with her. She steeled herself, and though the tears continued flowing she managed to look him in the eye and he felt himself shrink slightly beneath her gaze.

“I know you did not want any of this,” she laughed emptily, “but I never would have thought that you would regret our marriage so much that you would rather die or be banished than remain my husband.”

He was floored.

“Emma, I do not regret our marriage and I never have. I would never regret being your husband. Why won’t you listen to me? I do not hate you.”

“Then why are you so desperate to die?”

“Because it will mean protecting you.”

“And why does that matter to you?”

“Because I love you!”

Everything fell silent at his confession. Sarah stopped fighting the man that had been holding her in place, and Emma stopped crying. Even the birds that had been crowing in the trees had stopped. There was no sound at all except for the faint rustling of leaves. Emma looked at him in shock, but not disbelief, and he was content with that. He waited for her to turn on him, and to tell him that she did not feel the same and never could, but she did not. She simply stared at him. Someone had to speak, he thought, and so he cleared his throat and continued.

“Is that what you want to hear from me?” he asked gently. “I love you, Emma. I have been falling more and more in love with you the more time passed, and no matter what I have done nothing has changed. That is why I am so willing to die here and now. I do not want you to be saddled with such an unlovable man for the rest of your life, not when you deserve so much more.”

“So much more than what?” she asked, her brow furrowed. “More than a man that will do everything in his power to make his wife happy? A man that recognizes his shortcomings and betters himself? What exactly am I supposed to want to avoid in such a man as that?”

“You deserve someone that is not broken, someone that can love you in the way you deserve. I only wish that that man couldbe me, but it is not possible. I will never be worthy of you, not matter what I do.”

“Stop!” she ordered, and he fell silent. “You will not do this. You will not speak about my husband this way. I will not allow it.”