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“Look at him,” Gabriel continued. “He’s right here, he didn’tdie. You didn’t fire a shot that killed him.”
For three years, they’d ‘played’ dead and hunted for what cost them. She was that reason, and she didn’t look at him. Having him back…it was a Pandora’s box. “I fired the shot…”
“You followed orders.” Brad’s voice cut through the tension. “Sachi, Iwasthere. I heard Steele’s orders. He told you to take out the escorts and to leave the asset. You didn’t detonate those bombs. You didn’t fire the missile.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting to get her wild heart under control and her breathing steadier. A hand slid along her nape then closed over her neck. Gabriel’s arms were still around her.
“You didn’t kill me, babe.” Brad’s voice went hoarse. “I did that when I let them keep me in play-dead mode. I swear to you, you didn’t kill me. If anyone’s guilty of that, it’s me.”
A tear pressed past her squeezed shut eyelids.
“Keep talking to her.” Gabriel’s quiet confidence beckoned to her.
“Is she even fucking hearing us?” Brad’s question held raw anger and a hint of desperation.
“Yes.” Calmer, Gabriel stabilized the rockiness in her soul. “She just needs to know we’re here—and in this case, that means you.”
“How often does this happen to her?” The fingers on her nape began to massage, the pressure testing the locked muscles.Darkness held death. The weight of the building. The rapidly cooling body…
“You watched her all the time, and you don’t know?”Surprise, not judgment. So weird to hear them talking about her, while she was so distant. Like sitting behind a sniper’s scope and staring down at the empty deck and loading dock below. Away from the action, away from the detonation… her finger on the trigger.
A long silence, then Gabriel sighed. “More often than I think she realizes. Some nights, I can get her back to sleep before it all registers. Other nights… she’s silent, Brad. She doesn’t scream, she doesn’t wail, she just makes this low sound and then goes blank. I keep waiting for her to discuss it the next day, but she doesn’t. So fucking talk to her. She needs you.” The last words gave her heart a vicious twist.
“I don’t know about that.” Brad’s lips were near her ear. “You hear him, Sach? He doesn’t think you need him.” Something dark, lonely, and a little bit sad inhabited his tone. “But do you know what I see? You’ve got a death grip on him, and there’s terror in your voice when you talk about losing him. I also heard you say you love him… and you know what, babe? I heard the truth in those words, the raw, naked truth.”
“Loving someone isn’t enough.” Blowing out a breath, she opened her eyes. Running away didn’t help anyone. Brad slid behind her, and Gabriel stayed right where he was. “Not when you tear them apart.”
“I don’t know.” Gabriel’s thumbs worked the base of her spine, the sensations warring with Brad’s fingers on the back of her neck. “The only one getting torn apart here, is you. I’m fine. Brad’s fine.”
“Brad’s more than fine.” Laughter eased the sadness in his voice. “I’m here with my best girl and her guy. I get to be a part of the equation.”
Yes, he was a part of the equation. “You died.” Equal parts accusation and cry for help.
“I did.”No games. No laughter.“If I could change nothing about the last few years save one thing—letting you believe I was dead would be it. You should never have felt that way. You shouldn’t feel that way now. Fuck it all, Sachi. Fuck Steele. Fuck Titanium. Fuck the fucking U.S. of A. This is me. I’m here, I’m alive, and I will do any goddamn thing necessary to make this right for you.”
The words penetrated the shell around her, and she met Gabriel’s gaze. “He didn’t fuck Chrome.”
“No,” Gabriel agreed with her. “He didn’t, but Chrome really isn’t his type.”
“Mine either. He threatened to tie me up and toss me in a cell if I did anything stupid. He’s kinky like that.”
A rumble at her back sounded suspiciously like Brad laughing. The corner of Gabriel’s mouth kicked up. “Do you like to be tied up?”
“Like it?” She considered the question. “Not really. People tie you up to interrogate you or force you to do something.” Logic and reason told her that. Sandwiched between the two men, they had her completely surrounded and caged. “Having you guys cage me isn’t so bad. Not really my kink though.”
One by one the muscles in her neck seemed to unlock. Gabriel canted his head to the side. “You’re coming back to us now, aren’t you?”
The shock of waking, like being plunged into icy water, began to pass as she soaked in their heat. “I freaked out.”
“Not so bad as that.” Gabriel loosened his hold a fraction, and Brad pressed in against her back. With a finger, Gabriel traced her cheek and brushed away the evidence of tears. “Copper doesn’t cry.”
“No,” Brad agreed, his lips teasingly close to her ear. “She doesn’t.”
“Sachi does.” Saying the words lifted some of the dead weight off her chest, allowing the claustrophobic pressure smothering her to lighten. “She doesn’t like to admit it, but she does. Cold showers help. Drinking helps more. Copper can’t feel that way. Copper has to do the job.”
“Copper’s good for work,” Brad said quietly. “Do you remember what I told you about doing the job? How you can come close to the edge, but you didn’t have to go through with it?”
Yes. She remembered. “You said I was always your girl.”