Page 42 of Her Dom's Secret Past

I nodded. I had my hand in his and it fitted perfectly. His thumb had been endlessly rubbing, caressing the back of my hand. I watched it making little circles, moving back and forth. I turned my hand so I could thread my fingers through his.

“I feel awful for not listening properly, for letting you leave.”

“Don’t. Heavens. I don’t think I would have taken it as well as you are. You have to know, Ana. That part of my life is well and truly over. I’d actually handed in my resignation before my last assignment.”

“You did?”

“Yep. It gets to you. I could have retired to a desk job, intelligence work, but I wanted to get away from it all. I’m fifty-two years old. Too old to dodge bullets anymore.”

“Seems like you didn’t dodge,” I said with a little funny lilt.

“No, I didn’t and it almost got me killed.”

“You’ve moved out here. Will you ever go back? I mean, you must have family still in England.”

“No family. I was an only child. My parents had me late in life and they’ve both passed on. Not only that, I can never go back. As far as everyone is concerned, I died. There’s even a grave with my name on it.”

“I’m guessing it doesn’t say John Ethan.”

“No. There is absolutely nothing that links me to the man I was.”

“Kind of like the witness protection thing?”

“Yes, exactly like that. I’ve got a life-time pension as well as compensation for my injuries. On top of that, I have a very reasonable bank balance, inheritance. Enough to keep me happy and pleasantly set for the remainder of my life.”

I sat digesting all I’d learned. I was honest enough to know I wouldn’t be comfortable with the information overnight, but even now it was becoming more palatable. I was extremely glad he’d told me. I could imagine learning this after we’d been going out for a long period. I knew I’d think he’d betrayed me by not being honest.

“Thank you, thank you for telling me. I’m guessing it wasn’t easy.”

He shook his head and gave me a wry smile. “I’ve been having this internal debate ever since I realized you were more than solely a holiday romance. I had intended to tell you all on that last Friday night. It was a hard decision to make because I knew there was more than a fifty percent chance you’d show me the door. But I also knew if we did make a go of things and you found out years down the track, you’d be pissed big time.”

“Oh yeah! Pissed wouldn’t be the word for it. I’m sure I’d be furious and badly hurt.”

We sat in a comfortable silence.

“Will you miss it? Not the killing, but the excitement, the adrenaline rush.”

Shaking his head vehemently, John said, “No. Definitely not. I’ve had enough of that type of excitement for ten lifetimes. I want to fish, read all those books I’ve put off reading. I want to start a vegetable garden, cook. I want to relax.”

He gave me a look that almost melted my panties. I took a tiny gasp after realizing I’d held my breath.

“I do too. Not the fishing bit, don’t like killing things.”

“I don’t either, despite my previous life. As for the fish, I intend to release most of them as soon as I catch them. It’s simply the Zen you get when you throw a line out and wait.”

“Oh, I guess I can relate to that.”

“More importantly, I want to fall even more deeply in love with you because already I do love you.”

My whole world stood still. I wasn’t breathing properly as I gaped at him and he smiled a little “I’m not sure how she took that” smile.

“I… I know, I love you too.”

There was silence again as we stared at each other.

Hours, or maybe it was minutes later, with a sexy grin, he asked, “So where’s that dessert you promised me?”

I laughed and got to my feet. After grabbing the twoBrûléesfrom the fridge, I covered their tops with caster sugar and hit them with the flame of my trusty kitchen blowtorch. I took one out to John and then grabbed mine. We sat on the settee, eating.