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Part II

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting,

Dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

~ Edgar Allan Poe

ALTHOUGH THE FIRSTfive years of Kyria’s life were spent in a small seaside town in Greece, her earliest memories were of picnics by the pool, rollercoaster drives in the desert, and countless cozy dinners at home. In these memories her family was complete, and by this she didn’t just mean her parents. The Al-Atassis were there, too, all four of them. The two families were inseparable in those days, and because she was too young to understand the difference between commoners and royalty, Kyria hadn’t seen anything wrong or strange in it. At that time, all she knew was that she was happy and loved. Everywhere she looked, there was laughter and kindness to be found. And of course, love – lots and lots of it.

There was such love in everyone’s hearts that when her parents passed away and Hadwin and Vanna had told seven-year-old Kyria they would take care of her, she had believed them. Despite her pain and loneliness, despite the grief that tore at her heart but her young mind couldn’t quite grasp, one thing she hadnotbeen was afraid. The Al-Atassis were family, and so there was nothing to be afraid of. She was not alone because she had family.

Growing up, the Al-Atassis sought to shield Kyria with their wealth and power. No one was allowed to speak to her without an Al-Atassi present, and those who dared to comment on her inclusion in the royal family were severely dealt with.

It worked, but only for a time.

Some things in life a person must inevitably learn to face...it was one of Hadwin’s favorite things to quote to his children, and so it was for all of them, and that included Kyria. As her life gradually extended beyond the walls of the palace, her world became bigger but darker, and she soon learned that things weren’t always what they were made out to be. Her position as Vanna Al-Atassi’s legal ward was one coveted by many, and more often than not people she trusted turned out to be nothing but frauds, wanting to get close to her because they either wanted to use or hurt the royal family.

Girls who were supposed to be her friends, boys who supposedly wanted to date her, teachers who should have had her best interests in their hearts – all of them eventually showed their true colors, and with each betrayal Kyria found herself withdrawing further and further until she could no longer remember how to lower her guard.

In her quest to protect the royal family from being taken advantage of, Kyria had trained herself to watch her words, to swallow her pride rather than make waves. It might make her appear like a coward in other people’s eyes, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was not bringing shame to the royal family, and thus her image as a quiet little mouse of a woman came to be, with Kyria only coming alive and letting go of herself when in the company of her family. Only with them did she allow herself to smile and speak her mind, to take risks and make mistakes. Only with them did her love pour out, her devotion to them fierce and unwavering. She had already lost so many of her loved ones at an early age, and she would do whatever was needed not to lose another one again.

For Kyria, nothing was more important than seeing her family happy and keeping it that way. It was her goal, her reason for living, and for the most part keeping them happy was fairly easy to figure out. To please Altair, she did her best to excel in school. To please Vanna, she obeyed all the rules that went with the palace’s restrictive lifestyle. With those two, what she needed to do was clear-cut.

Unfortunately, it was the complete opposite with Malik.

The youngest Al-Atassi sheikh was her most favorite person in the world, and for as long as she could remember, Malik was always there to be what she needed.

As a child, she would be playing alone in her room, and just as loneliness struck, he would appear by the doorway with his usual lazy grin, asking if her afternoon tea party had room for one more. She would be quietly struggling with her homework, and just when she was about to give up, he would come knocking on the door and pop his head in.Need a tutor?And when she found herself missing her parents, he would be there to take her in his arms, and he always knew the right thing to say.You can cry, Ky. It doesn’t mean you love us less or love them more. You cry simply because you love them.

He was her everything, really, and it was for this reason that her inability to be of use to Malik troubled her so. Because she had never thought to keep anything secret from him, Malik knew everything there was to know about her. In contrast, the passage of time only showed her how she knew so little of him, and no matter what she did or said, Malik seemed hell-bent on keeping a part of himself out of her reach.

Countless times, she would glimpse loneliness in his eyes, haunting and devastating in its depth, and it always made her want to cry.Why was he lonely? Was there nothing she could do to make him happy? Was there nothing he needed of her?

There were days when she would despair, thinking that she would never find the answers to these questions.

But she did, eventually, and the answers changed her world for good.

****

LOVE, THE ROMANTICkind, was something she never cared to think of. Kyria herself didn’t quite understand why this was so, but knowing that it could only cause her family to worry, she simply made herself go through the motions. She pretended to like the same boys the other girls in school liked and said yes every time she was invited to be someone’s date to a prom. She found it utterly bothersome, to be honest, but she also knew better than to speak the truth, not even to Malik. The Al-Atassis took their responsibilities so seriously that if they realized she had zero interest in having a relationship, she knew they’d blame themselves for it. She knew they would think that they had done something wrong in raising her, when ironically it was the opposite. They had done everything right, had made her life so perfect, that Kyria simply didn’t see any reason why she’d need another man in her life.

If she were ever to like someone that way, he would have to compare to both her brothers, and she honestly didn’t think that was possible. Who could be stronger than Altair, kinder and wiser than Malik? And of course they had to be as extraordinarily handsome as the two, too. In truth, the only men who could hold a candle to them were the other Al-Atassi sheikhs – and they didn’t count since she looked upon them as brothers as well.