Page 64

Brooke flashed a sad smile. “I know you would.”

“And?”

“I had no right to ask you for help.”

“Why the hell not?”

“After the way I let you down before? When your dad was in the last year of his life and you wanted to look after him? No.” Brooke gritted her teeth. “I have no right to ask you for help.”

“Oh, Brooke…” Lia exhaled in sheer frustration. Even when they were together, the woman was so fiercely independent that it was a source of friction now and then. “I thought you knew we were friends. You used to send me postcards from all corners of the world! I never held a grudge against you.”

“I never forgot you,” Brooke admitted in a whisper. Again, she looked at Quinn, then away quickly. “I never stopped loving you.”

At a loss, Lia exchanged a glance with her wife. Quinn kept a hand on the back of her neck, squeezing gently.

“Which drug was it, Brooke?” she asked in a surprisingly gentle voice. “What did they put you on during your treatment in Columbia?”

Brooke’s face was grim as she returned her gaze.

“At first, it was morphine,” she said. “Intravenously and on demand, since the pain was so bad. Then, when I came back to the States, it was a mix of Vicodin and Oxycontin.”

Opioid drugs,Lia thought.Oh, God.

“There were complications with my hip, and I had to have surgery again. So, more drugs. I started drinking.” Brooke shook her head. “Started emailing your old address, Lia. Knowing you wouldn’t reply, so it was safe to do so.”

What it really was, though Lia did not say it, was desperate. Terribly sad and a little bit insane, too.

“After a while, I got confused. Started feeling angry at your lack of reply. I forgot the email address was no longer active. Forgot I didn’t want to ask you for help in the first place. I wrote more stupid shit, posted it on the internet.”

“You researched me,” Quinn said.

“Yes.”

“In great detail.”

“Yes, I did.”

“That took some planning. And a good level of coherence, I’d say.”

Brooke bit hard enough on her bottom lip to make herself flinch.

“I was coming and going. But I am sorry,” she repeated. “I hate what I did. I haven’t been myself in a while.”

“You seem pretty lucid right now,” Quinn insisted.

“I went out the other day. Drunk out of my head. Ended up falling over and passing out. I was in the hospital for two days.” She sneered. “Again. So I’m lucid enough.”

“Where are you going now?” Lia asked when she started to get up.

“Bathroom,” Brooke mumbled. “I need to brush my teeth and splash water on my face. Give me a few minutes to freshen up, okay? I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Of course, no problem.”

“I’m sorry, Lia,” Quinn murmured after she left.

Lia heaved a big sigh. “Do you believe her?”

“Yes. She’s in bad shape and tells a sadly common story about getting hooked on pain meds.”