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Chapter
Forty
LAUREN
Ishake my head as Seb finishes telling me his story. It really is a WTF kind of tale, and normally I’d have more of a reaction. Today, though, has been a WTF kind of day in general, and this is just one more surprise.
Samantha is sitting with Nicky while Seb and I take a break in the bar in the basement of the hospital. Yeah, weird, but at the moment, it makes perfect sense. I don’t think I’ve ever needed a glass of wine more than I do right now, and Seb is definitely enjoying his pint of beer.
“So, let me get this straight—you have a twenty-three-year-old son you never knew a thing about?”
“Yep. Bit of a headfuck, but it also kind of makes sense. I can see myself in him, the violence and the rage. I’m just glad he had a brilliant mum to keep him on the straight and narrow. Maybe it was for the best that I didn’t know.”
“Oh, don’t give me that crap, Seb. You might have been wild, but you would have done the right thing. You need to let go of this heart-of-a-devil bullshit and accept that you’re at least part angel.”
“Which part?” He winks suggestively.
I laugh and take his hand across the table. “Not that part.Thatpart is very much in league with Satan.”
He gazes into my eyes. “Is it wrong that I’ve got a hard-on in a hospital?”
“Only if it’s because of all the sexy nurses.”
“No. It’s only for you. Though I wouldn’t object to playing doctors and nurses with you sometime, sweetheart.” His look darkens, and my pulse speeds up in response. I have a sudden image of how that could play out: Seb in a white coat, me on a gurney getting a very thorough exam, those massive hands of his encased in latex gloves while he probes and prods…
“You’re wet just thinking about it, aren’t you?”
“I am, indeed, Dr. Donovan. Definitely one for the future. But for now, how do you feel about all the Taylor stuff?”
“Now it’s starting to settle in, I’m okay with it. Why wouldn’t I be? He’s a good lad. We’ve missed the stage where I can teach him how to ride a bike and play footie in the park, but there’s still plenty to learn about each other. Plenty to catch up on. And your mystery son taking a bullet for you isn’t a bad start, as these things go.”
“No, it’s really not. The only problem is that I’m not sure I’m ready to be a stepmom to two adult kids.”
“Oh, fuck. I hadn’t even thought about that—you’ll be Samantha’s stepmum. That’s fucking hilarious.”
I laugh and then yawn, and he squeezes my fingers. “You’re done in, love. You need to go home and rest. I’ll stay here with the kid; you get some sleep. We can do it in shifts.”
“No way. We stay together, always. Who knows what kind of trouble you’ll get into without me to look after you?”
He nods and pulls a face that saysfair point, then goes off to the bar to get us another round. While he’s gone, I wonder whether I’m crazy to think what I’ve been thinking for the lastfew hours. And if I am, I wonder if Seb is willing to be crazy with me.
I tell myself I should shelve the whole idea until I’ve had chance to really think it through. I need time to rest and recover, to look more realistically at all the options. Time to regain reason and act logically instead of emotionally.
I’m still lost in thought when Seb returns. He stares at me intensely, like he’s trying to read my mind. “What’s going on in there, sweetheart? You look like you’re a million miles away.”
I sip my wine and notice that I’ve bitten the inside of my lip so hard it’s bleeding.
“What is it?” he says. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” He sounds sincere, and I hate that I doubted him for a second. He has proved over and over again that he loves me, and I shouldn’t feel any hesitation in sharing this with him. It says more about me and the way I hoard my feelings than it does about him.
“I know, Seb, I do. I suppose I was wondering… if you’d like to be a dad to three kids instead of two?”
There’s a beat while he seems to think it through, and then he’s right there with me. “You mean Nicky? You want to, what, adopt him?”
“He has nobody else. He’s all alone in the world, and I can’t bear the thought of him being foisted off on strangers. There’s going to be a lot of damage that he’ll need help with, things that normal people won’t understand. It’s going to take time and patience and probably a ton of therapy. He won’t get any of that if he goes into the system, you know that.”
“I do, better than most people. And the answer is yes. It was always going to be yes, and I can’t believe you looked that worried about asking me. I’d have suggested it myself, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I know stuff around kids is complicated for you.”
A wave of joy floods me, along with gratitude for having this man in my life. Of course he said yes. It’s not in his nature to turn down a person in need, especially not a child.