Page 79

Oh God. This is bad. I’m already losing myself.

Cullen opens his mouth to say something, but I drop down, grab my runaway earbud, and then swivel on my feet to start marching away.

More distance. I need more distance.

“Verity.”

The word slithers across my skin, tearing further into my fracturing resolve.

There is atap tapas he jogs to catch up to me, easily falling back into step beside me with his long legs that eat up my small strides.

What is he even doing here? Shouldn’t he be at work? Why is he outside my apartment?

I want to ask him, but I can’t open that jar without everything spilling out.

I’m just going to ignore him like I planned.

I pop my right earbud back in, drowning out any possible conversation he could start. Lyrics swim around me, but they sound like gibberish because I can only focus on the man beside me.

We walk three blocks in silence, and I worry I’m about to go nuts from the tension that crackles between us.

Seriously? How long is he going to keep this up? There is only one more block until I get to the subway entrance. Surely, he isn’t going to follow me down there. He can’t trail along all the way to the office. That would be…

I shake my head, banishing the thought.

There is no way he’d do that, not after everything.

I readjust my tote on my shoulder, gripping the fraying strap more tightly with my hand, and start to walk even faster. If I can just get to the end of the street, I can escape on the A train.

When I’m only a few feet away from the stairs that descend into the station, I begin to panic. He’s not slowing down. He doesn’t showanysign of leaving. I push ahead, jogging down the steps and hoping that he isn’t behind me.

I scan my watch on the electronic scanner, waiting for the light to pop up before I push through the turnstile. The air is always warmer down here, which isn’t a bad thing, unless it’s summer. That’s when the subway system turns into a boiler and the smells become noticeable.

I shuffle down the platform until I get to a pocket that is a little less packed. I rock back and forth on my heels, eyeing the notification banner that says the next train will be here in one minute.

Come on, hurry up.

I don’t risk looking to my left to see if Cullen followed me down. There’s no chance he did. Still, I can’t help but feel like there is a pair of eyes watching me. It’s this awareness prickling the back of my neck.

The wind in the tunnel picks up, signaling the impending train. I step a little closer to the yellow safety line painted on the ground. The air pressure increases as a screeching noise cuts above the music playing in my ears.

When the doors to the car open, I wait for people to exit before pushing in. I clock an empty seat—which isn’t that rare, since I live so far uptown—and slip onto the blue plastic, placing my tote bag in my lap.

Safe.

I let out a sigh, closing my eyes briefly. I have the next ten stops to get my heart rate back under control and my mind cleared before walking into the office. Totally doable.

A knee brushes against my own, and my lids pop open.

No.

I whip my head to the side and—

There he is.

Why?!

My lips part, the question bubbling in the back of my throat, desperate for release. The pressure builds on my tongue, the word dangling on the tip.