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She waved back, then followed Hayes to the parking lot without a word. Waited for him to follow his usual security routine with the vehicle. When the doors were unlocked, Reese slipped inside, a mental battle waging inside her that she was determined to win.
He started the vehicle and slowly pulled out of the lot, down the drive, and then took the turn that would return them to the interstate. “You okay?”
“Fine.” She drew on her relaxation strategies, grounded herself with her center point, and slowly, too slowly, her breathing returned to normal.
After ten minutes, he looked at her concernedly. “What happened in there? You’re starting to freak me out a little.”
“What happened?” She considered the question with a clarity that had been absent moments earlier. “That’s a good question. I think I was just mindfucked by a pro.”
27
“Explain.”
Reese struggled to put her response into words. “My parents sent me to a counselor after Ben went for residential treatment. There were…incidents at home when I was little. They didn’t trust him around me anymore. I know now that he’d been seeing mental health professionals for some time before he left.” And she was certain her parents had fervently hoped that he’d return home at some point when he was no longer a threat to her safety. “After they died, Julia forced me to go to therapy. And again after Thorne. I’ve had enough experience to speak fluent psychobabble.”
“You don’t appear to have a positive opinion toward therapy.”
She rolled her shoulders dismissively. “I recognize the benefits it provided in helping me put traumatic events into perspective and learning healthy coping mechanisms. But Sedgewick…” Trying to recall what exactly had been said at the end was tougher than it should have been. The doctor’s words had summoned a very predictable emotional response, one that negated logic and reason. “She seemed genuinely surprisedabout Eckworth applying for conservatorship, but also praised her mission. The doctor warned me she’d be unable to intervene in that court proceeding because of regulations preventing her from doing so.”
“Licensed mental health professionals can’t engage in advocacy for their patients’ treatments. But as your brother’s primary mental health doctor, her testimony would likely be sought during the hearing.”
“From what she said, I assume she’d shade that testimony to advise against my appointment.”
His head swiveled, and she nudged his shoulder to direct his eyes back to the entrance to the interstate. “Why do you think that?”
“She’s smooth,” Reese muttered. “The way she couched concern for me with Ben’s needs. On the one hand, she spoke glowingly of the positive relationship he has with Eckworth. Apparently, that’s an anomaly for him. And she mentioned that she didn’t know how he’d react if he heard I’d been named conservator. She was careful to straddle the constraints of what she could disclose, but still managed to get her point across.”
“So she admitted that his delusions and paranoia haven’t improved.”
“Yeah. Or, rather, that he regressed since his illness.”
Hayes nodded bemusedly. “That’s in keeping with the medical assessments I read. Complications from NMS can be far-reaching.”
“I think she was trying to talk me out of applying for conservatorship. But it was all very professional. She called up memories from my childhood and compared them to what I’d suffered at Thorne’s hands.”
A muscle clenched in his jaw. “That’s…unusual.”
“Right?” Reese turned toward him. “She kept talking about retraumatization and triggers and being helpless andvulnerable. I’m not proud of it, but I had this flash, like the incidents from my childhood entwined with the scene in that basement. It was almost like she’d constructed this mental ambush and I walked right into it.” She sat back in her seat. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Countertransference is when a therapist projects their feelings onto a client. It’s a big professional no-no, and may be an indication of poor training.”
“I didn’t get the impression that she was unskilled. Just the opposite. It was like she deliberately pushed buttons designed to make me recall the traumas. And for a minute, my mind obeyed.”
He frowned, one index finger tapping the side of the steering wheel. “If she’s as polished as you say, she may have been lying about not knowing of Eckworth’s plans. Did you…get a sense that she was hiding something?”
Everything inside her backpedaled from what he hinted at. “I told you before, that ability only senses guilt. And it’s gone. It’s not coming back.” If she could will that true, she would.
“You were fairly certain about McNulty’s past criminal behavior.”
“That was different.” She hadn’t had to rely on the gut-churning sensation of dipping her fingers into a cauldron of old guilt and tainted memories. “I didn’t pick up on any old remorse from him. Or from Sedgewick. But in her line of work, she’d have a well-constructed inner guard.” And she’d managed to knock Reese akilter with a few incisive sentences. She still didn’t believe that was accidental. “I think the doctor is capable of masterful duplicity and manipulation. But those impressions come from her behavior. Julia’s influence did lead to some of the expenses she submitted being denied. She may fear that I’ll be similarly problematic.”
“You suspect she already has Rivers on her side?”
“I’m not sure. But she did say he’d told her about me applying for conservatorship. Maybe he also shared other information. Like the appointment I set up with him.”
Hayes didn’t respond. He was studying the rearview mirror. Reese glanced behind them. Saw nothing unusual in the steady traffic. “What is it?” Comprehension slammed into her. “Are we being followed?”
“Maybe not.”