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“I’d never be glad about that.”

I didn’t give myself a chance to take his words the wrong way. To try to attach some value or meaning to them that wasn’t there. Gray was just saying that as my friend. I refused to become so blinded by a fleeting crush that I started to believe my feelings were returned. Especially when I wasn’t convinced they were real in the first place.

“Pidge?” Gray said, his voice low. “You okay?” I’d been scrubbing the same bowl for way too long and I quickly turned the water off.

I slowly looked up at him. He was standing close enough that every urge I was trying to bury and hide came rushing to the surface. He was looking at me the same way he always did. Why did it feel so much more intense? Why was it affecting me in such a visceral way? I needed a reality check from Bonnie urgently. It couldn’t wait until I got to school.

“I better finish getting ready,” I said, ducking past Grayson as I headed for the door. “I’ll see you at school.”

“You want to drive with me?” he called.

“No, thanks. Bonnie asked me for a ride.” I shot one last forced smile over my shoulder before rushing upstairs. Being in an enclosed space with Grayson was not a good idea right now. As soon as I reached Cammie’s room, I grabbed my phone from its charger and texted Bonnie.

Me: Tell your mom you’re grabbing a ride to school with me this morning.

Thankfully, Bonnie lived with her phone glued to her hand and responded instantly.

Bonnie: You’re not driving with Grayson?

Me: Not today. Also, I need you to slap some sense into me.

Bonnie: Wow, sounds serious. Okay, I’m here to help.

Everyone needed a friend like Bonnie in their life. It felt like things were seriously veering off course, and I hoped a little of her trademark tough love would be enough to return them to the safe, familiar path where everything made sense.

“Ouch!” I flinched as Bonnie’s hand made impact. She didn’t pull her punches—well, slaps—and my cheek felt like it was on fire. “What was that?”

“You told me to slap you!”

“I didn’t meanliterally, Bon!” I rubbed my cheek. It was lucky her mom wasn’t watching, or she’d be seriously concerned about our friendship.

“Oh.” Her eyes widened with guilt and shock. “I thought you wanted a real slap.”

“Clearly.” I laughed and shook my head. “You didn’t even hesitate. Did you miss your morning coffee or are you just feeling angry today?”

“What? It’s not every day you get asked to slap some sense into someone.”

“Well, next time I’m asking someone else.”

“Fair enough.” She turned to grab her jacket off a hook inside the house. “Bye, Mom,” she shouted before pulling the front door shut.

The two of us started walking to my car, which was parked on the street. It was bitterly cold today, and while the rain from last night had stopped, it was still quite windy. I was wearing a warm coat but the gusts that whipped across Bonnie’s front yard felt like shards of ice. It wasn’t much warmer when we got in the car, but we were at least protected from the wind.

“So, did it work?” Bonnie asked as I cranked the heating up to full power. I’d only left the car here for a few minutes, but already it was freezing inside.

“Did what work?”

“The slap. Are you filled with sense now?”

I couldn’t be sure. The only thing I could feel was my burning cheek. Perhaps once I saw Grayson again, I’d be able to tell if Bonnie’s slap had the desired effect.

“Also, why exactly do you need sense knocked into you?” she added.

I was somewhat surprised she didn’t ask that question before she slapped me.

“I’ve been having doubts about this whole thing.” It wasn’t a lie. It was just extremely vague.

“Doubts about what whole thing?”