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He didn’t believe me, though. He never did. ‘Another nightmare?’ he asked, seeing right through me like always. He had an uncanny ability to read me like an open book, even when I tried to close the cover and lock it up tight in a cage of lies and fake smiles.

What I liked about him the most, however, was that he never called me out on my bullshit. Instead, he let me lie and tried to make things better by finding some way to take my mind off it all. Now was no different.

‘D’you wanna come with me to check the thermals? I think the wildlife got to them in the night.’

I nodded. ‘Sure. Let me just get ready and check on Rhodes, and I’ll meet you out front in half an hour?’

‘Sure thing,’ he said, dipping his head to hide the blush that spread across his cheeks. He was getting better and conversing with me. It was easier for him when I was in a mindless state of anxiety, but since he had pulled me out of it, he had returned to being that same shy man who had followed Chance around like a little puppy.

I felt guilty for how much energy he was spending on making sure I was okay when he had just lost one of his lifelong best friends. I had always admired their friendship, even if I hadn’t fully understood it until now. Chance was the brooding type, but he had a heart of gold. He was protective of those he cared about and didn’t have time for the people who proved themselves unworthy of his time and affection. Mikey, however, was the complete opposite. He was timid, reclusive, and nerdy. He didn’t stand up for himself like Chance had, but he was loyal, and kind, and so damn sweet it made my teeth ache, but in the best way.

I wasn’t sure if he had latched onto me as a means of replacing the friend he had hidden behind for so long, or if he was just using me as a distraction for himself, but I had to remind myself that he was grieving this loss, too. He had lost just as much, if not more, than me, because at the end of the day, what I’d had with Blake had been nothing more than a lie. Mikey’s friendship with Chance was genuine. Hell, even his friendship with Kali was more real than my own fucking sham of a marriage.

At least he hadn’t been used as a mask to hide the ugliness he didn’t want the world to see. Truthfully, there wasn’t anything ugly at all about Mikey. His personality matched his outward appearance. Sure, he was nerdy and a bit gangly, but he had kind eyes and soft features that gave him a beauty most men would have been called gay for, but he pulled it off.

And despite his shy, introverted tendencies, there was a strength to him that lay just beneath the surface, hidden fromthose who refused to look any deeper, but so clear to see if you just paid attention.

Mikey was truly one of a kind. A sparkling gem in a sea of sharp, bland, grey rocks.

I quickly bounded up the stairs to grab a towel from the linen closet on the landing, then headed straight for the shared bathroom a few doors down. It was a simple room, with a shower-tub combo, a large mirror over a double sink, a toilet with seat of seashells cast in resin, and an ocean theme that was cliché but pretty, nonetheless. Everything was in shades of light blues, patterned with either seashells or seahorses, but it wasn’t homely.

What mattered the most right now, though, was the hot water. I turned on the shower, stepping away from the spray as it came out ice-cold, and stripped while I waited for it to heat up. I realised that I forgot my clothes back in the guest room, but I didn’t think much of it. Rhodes wouldn’t be up, and Mikey would be waiting downstairs, so there would be no one to see me make the quick journey from the bathroom to the bedroom.

I showered quickly, only waiting for the water to heat up enough that I would freeze to death under the stream. I didn’t wash my hair, instead throwing it into a bun on the top of my head to keep it dry and out of the way as I quickly rinsed the sleep from my body, and I was out in five minutes. The bathroom hadn’t even had the chance to fog up.

Once I was back inside the bedroom I had temporarily claimed as my own, I threw on the first clothes I picked out, which just happened to be jeans and a tank top, kept my hair up in its messy bun, slipped my feet into my sneakers, and headed across the hall.

I knocked lightly, afraid to wake him if he was sleeping, but wanting to give him the option to send me away if he wasn’t. When there was no answer, I gently pushed open the door andpeered inside. The curtains were closed, dimming the brightness of the light that was trying so hard to illuminate the space. It was a typical boy’s room, with a navy blue comforter, a TV atop a chest of drawers, and a gaming system beneath it. There was a small bookcase in the corner that held mostly trinkets, though there were a few well-worn books shelved for good measure. Posters lined the walls of obscure bands I had never heard of, and a surfboard was propped up in the corner beside a snowboard. Pictures lined the surfaces of a smiling couple that must have been Rhodes’ parents, and I could see the love they held for one another.

He may have suffered from cancer his whole life, but Rhodes was lucky. He’d grown up with a family that had loved him, had cared for him to the best of their ability, and provided him with a good life in spite of the hardships they faced.

And yet, despite the evidence of a life well-lived, it was empty. The lump beneath the covers was unmoving, lifeless, and I hurried over to press my fingers against his neck, only removing them with a sigh of relief when I felt the faint pulse beneath my fingertips. He was just sleeping, but I was preparing myself for coming in one of these days to find him gone.

He moaned in his sleep, his voice croaky and weak. A full glass of water sat beside the bed, a plate of largely untouched food beside that. He had taken a few bites of the simple buttered toast that Davey had taken up for him before he left, but most of it went uneaten.

I was concerned about his lack of appetite, not to mention how much trouble he was having swallowing. I feared one of these days I would walk in to find him choking on his tongue or something, but that wasn’t all that I feared. His seizures were becoming more frequent and took more out of him each time. Lately, they had been mostly absent seizures compared to full-on fits, but I wasn’t ignorant enough to believe that was a goodthing. His body was giving out on him, and quickly. He didn’t even have enough energy to spare on his symptoms anymore.

Now, he mostly just slept. The rest of us did our best to help ease his last days with as much dignity as possible. Yesterday, he had wet the bed while Davey was visiting, and we worked together without a word to clean him up. I stripped and remade the bed while Davey helped him to the bath.

I’d cried myself to sleep that night, and if Mikey’s puffy, red-rimmed eyes the next morning were any indication, he had, too.

I checked him over one last time, looking for any signs that he needed assistance before I left him alone for a few minutes, and released a sigh of relief when I found nothing wrong. No bed wetting. No vomiting in his sleep. No messes to clean up. He was safe for now, so I let him be.

Mikey was right where he said he would be when I came down the stairs, waiting by the door as he held it open for me.

‘How is he?’ he asked.

‘As well as can be expected, I suppose,’ I answered sadly.

Mikey’s gaze drifted to the stairs, sadness permeating his aura. But then the door closed behind him, jolting him back to the present, and he shot me an apologetic look.

‘You ready?’

‘Yup,’ I answered, purposefully putting a little more brightness in my tone than necessary in an attempt to lighten the mood. He did enough of that for me lately, it was time I did the same for him. ‘Lead the way.’

I followed dutifully behind him as he led me into the trees, sticking close by as the shadows cut at my already frayed nerves. I tried not to jump at every rustle of the leaves or snap of a twig, but I couldn’t help but scan the darkness for signs of red, glowing eyes. I shouldn’t have come out here, not with how paranoid I had become, but I was trying my best to act normal. I didn’t want my life to be ruled by fear. I had overcome enoughhardships and was currently going through the most hellish situation I could have never even fathomed. I wasn’t about to let hallucinations of a childhood fear break me now.

I was stronger than that, goddamn it.