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I sit his solid little form in the crooked her arm. At least this side doesn’t have the IV lines covering it.
“Mommy, Umm,” Ayaan voice is so mournful it shreds me. All his worry bubbles over as he lunges to into Lyric’s chest to hug and hold her close.
“Umm,” he cries into her neck.
“It’s okay, handsome. Mommy is okay now. I was just tired.” Burying her head into his little neck, she tries and fails to not weep. Her small shoulders shaking as she sobs.
I find my own eyes stinging from the emotions threatening to cleave me in two.
Brown wounded eyes look up at that moment and whatever she sees there has her reaching out to me.
My world caves and rebuilds itself in that moment.
Moving over to cover them both, making sure I neither crush nor cause her more pain, I wrap my arms around my little family. I don’t stop the tears when they come knowing in them I have found my safe place.
We hold each other. Amazingly Ayaan doesn’t squirm, he just lets his mom and me hold him. The tears from my wife subside and he looks up into her face, little tracks that have long since dried up speckling his cheeks.
A smile blossoms. “Bear Hunt, mommy?”
Softly my sparrow starts her song.
“This is so good.”Lyric hums around a fragrant spoonful of oats drizzled with honey. I’m reminded of our first meal together.How I was incandescent with rage but still couldn’t take my eyes off them — her.
“It’s porridge.” I deadpan all but rolling my eyes yet still unable to stop the smile nor the happiness at seeing her devour the small amount of food the doctor cleared her to eat.
“Maybe the best porridge in the world. We call it oatmeal, but it’s still better. Maybe it’s the honey.” She licks the spoon and my thoughts border on indecent, watching her tongue slide over the spoon.
Dragging my gaze away, I look at our son, now sprawled on the other side of the bed, now all the medical devices have been removed.
“I should put him in his own bed.” She stops me with a touch to my arm as I reach over to gather him in my arms.
“Let him stay with us just tonight.” Her eyes are pleading and still hold bruises beneath them.
“Of course, he can stay,” I murmur, my heart doing double-time when she lights up with a smile. Getting up I adjust the pillows around him so a boundary is erected to prevent him from rolling out the bed or crashing into Lyric, who though she’s eating and smiling still has a ways to go before she can take on a twenty-five pound toddler.
“Good idea. He’s always in a different position from where we put him to bed when I go check on him during the night.” Her soft chuckle is a balm to my soul.
“He’s a little acrobat.” I agree, moving back to the opposite side hesitating. She’d said, “Stay with us.” but I’ve not been sharing her bed since I’ve had to split my time between here and Marrakesh.
“Will you stay, Hassan?” Her vulnerability guts me. Her bravery in meeting my gaze with an unwavering honesty fucking slays me.
I nod because she’s robbed me of words. I feel humbled and blessed all at once.
Settling beside her on the bed I rest my back against the headboard, drawing her into my arms. Burying my face into her curls, I breathe in the fragrance that is unique to her. My eyes burn, my vision blurs.
I vow. “I will find who did this to you and I will flay them alive.”
She shudders and though I don’t regret my words, I hate I’ve uttered them aloud and caused her upset.
“Dr. Bint Aaziz said they made me miscarry.” Pulling her closer, I press a kiss into her curls. She said as much to me, but my focus was on Lyric. If she’d ingested any more of that tainted coffee, she wouldn’t be here.
“You’re alive. That’s all that matters.” My words sound gruff and she shudders again. I feel the hot tears scalding my chest as she weeps for the child taken from us.
Hatred burns hot in my chest. I want to roar with the anguish that engulfs me. Stroking her back, I let her pour out her grief quietly.
I hold her until she quiets. Brushing her hair back, I look into her luminous eyes.
“I hate to say it. I really do, but I want you to get them, Hassan. They killed our baby. I want them to suffer.” I let her solemn words wrap around me.