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There was a long pause before Beau said very quietly, “I’m not going to ask that.”

No. And they both knew why.

“Things are different now.” Archie said.

“Yes. And you worked like hell to get where you are.”

Archie gave a little shrug. Correct. Just as it was correct that he did not want to transfer, did not want to start over, did not want to risk his hard-won emotional equilibrium. But if there was a chance that he and Beau—

Besides, a transfer to another squad or even another division or unit wouldn’t necessarily mean a demotion or a pay cut. The Bureau prioritized agent health and well-being, so if he were to request a lateral move, something easier on him physically and mentally, that right there might create a path for transfer.

All of this was assuming he was eventually cleared for duty. If not...

Well, he wasn’t ready to contemplate that possibility.

Instead, he asked, “What about Alex?”

Beau’s briefly eyes closed in pain. “I don’t know what the judge will decide as far as custody or a visitation schedule. It took weeks to get a ruling last time. Where I live isn’t going to change much in that regard.”

Well, it probably would. Archie opened his mouth, but Beau turned his head, studied him, said, “Unless it changes the situation for you?”

Until that moment, it had not occurred to Archie that Beau’s custody battle might impact him.

He had never expected to be a parent, had never given any thought to it. The closest he had come to feeling remotely parental had been his half-baked idea that he could be a mentor or sponsor or something to Kyle. And that had proved an epic fail.

So, he had no clue how he felt about this idea—was not even clear what the idea was.

He said honestly, “I’m not sure what the situation is or would be. I know I want you to be able to have your son with you as much as you can. I don’t know what that means though.” He was a little worried about what it might mean.

Beau said wearily, “I don’t either at this point.”

It was kind of a relief that Beau did not mention the money. They both knew it was there. In theory. A seeming solution to some obvious stumbling blocks. While possibly creating a host of other problems they couldn’t imagine. Beau would no more be willing to live off Archie’s inheritance than Archie was. And, frankly, that was yet another bond between them.

Into the maelstrom of Archie’s thoughts, Beau said suddenly, “I need to tell you something.”

Archie stared at his profile, said uneasily, “Okay. Tell me.”

Beau closed his eyes, then opened them. “The truth is, your staying, taking a gap year or whatever I imagined you could do, wouldn’t have helped. Not really. I wasn’t ready to confront…anything. I was still telling myself maybe my parents wouldn’t find out.”

“You were hoping people would just forget,” Archie said unemotionally. He’d known. He’d have to hide his eyes and cover his ears not to.

Beau nodded. “As unrealistic as that was, yeah. And that was never going to happen if you stayed. It was never going to happen anyway.”

“No.”

“But also, I was afraid if you went to San Diego, you’d meet someone. Someone who could be what you wanted. Wouldn’t pretend, wouldn’t deny your place in his life. I was afraid you’d meet the kind of guy you deserved to be with. And I…didn’t want to lose you.”

Every word was like a small weight on Archie’s heart. “I didn’t want anyone but you. I wanted us to work it out.”

He would have done anything. Almost anything. Unfortunately, it was the almost anything Beau had wanted.

It had to be asked.

“Since you brought it up. Are you still—?”

“Just waiting for the right girl?” Beau’s smile was odd. “No. I’m not going around discussing my sexual preferences. Any more than you are. But no one thinks I’m looking for another wife.”

“Did Riley know?”