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"I do feel something . . I do!" I protested. She paused and stood up.

"It's what we call hysterical pain. You're in a worse mental state than I thought. Even this is happening to you now."

"But the doctor said--"

"I know what the doctor said. Don't you think I've worked with more than one or two doctors in my time?"

"Yes, but--"

"Just try to relax as I work your legs, and when you think you've felt something, control yourself." "But--"

She started again. The pain was there, but I simply grimaced and stifled my groans. The effort exhausted me, so I had to nap before lunch. Mrs. Broadfield brought me my lunch and told me Tony had phoned and would be back shortly to take me through a short tour of the floor. Funny, I thought, how something so simple had become something to look forward to, the way I would have looked forward to a special date or a party or dance. Right now, being wheeled out of this room was as exciting as a trip across the country. How my life had changed! How much I had taken for granted!

One of the grounds people arrived and set up a television set for me. It came with a remote control so I could work it from bed. He was a stocky man with a face that looked like old, dry leather. Hours and hours of working in the sun had cracked his skin and crisscrossed his forehead and even his chin with deep lines. He said his name was Parson.

"Have you been working here a long time, Par son?"

"Oh no, just a little more than a week."

"How do you like it?" At first I thought he didn't hear my question; then I realized he was thinking of how he would answer. "I suppose there's a lot for you to do," I added to encourage him to respond. He paused in his work to attach wires to the television set and looked at me.

"Yeah, there's a lot of work, but every time I start on something, Mr. Tatterton changes his mind and starts me on something else."

"Changes his mind?"

Parson shook his head. "I don't know. I was hired to repair the pool, so I started mixing the cement, but I only just got started when Mr. Tatterton come out and asked me what I was (loin'. I told him and he looked at the pool and then at me as if I was crazy. Then he says his father told him never to fix somethin' 'less it was broke. 'Huh?'! says. 'The hedges have to be trimmed all along the pathways in the maze,' he tells me, and sets me of to do that. Meanwhile, all the cement I mixed gets hard and is wasted.

"But he pays good." Parson shrugged and went back to the television set.

"But what about the pool?"

"I ain't askin'. I do what I'm told. There, now this should work just fine." He turned on the set and fiddled with the channels and controls. "Want this on?"

"Not right now, thank you, Parson."

"No problem."

"Parson, what is it like in the maze?"

"Like?" He shrugged. "I don't know. Peaceful, I guess. When you get deep in it, that is. You can't hear much on either side, and then . . I guess because it's so quiet, you imagine you hear things." He laughed to himself.

"What do you mean?"

"Couple a times I thought I heard someone walking about in one of the corridors nearby, so I shouted, but there was no one. Late yesterday, I was sure I heard footsteps, so I -got up and found my way over a path and then another and another, and what do you think happened, ma'am?"

"What?"

"I got lost, that's what." He laughed hard. "Took me nearly a half an hour to get back to where I was working."

"What about the footsteps?"

"Never heard 'em after that. Well, I gotta get goin'."

"Thank you," I called.

After he left I stared out the window. The sky was as blue as Mommy's eyes when she was radiant and happy. My eyes must be gray now, I thought, as dull as a faded, old blue blouse. But the world outside sparkled with life and light; the grass was deep green and looked cool and fresh, the trees were in full bloom, and the small, puffy clouds looked clean and soft like freshly plumped pillows.

Robins and sparrows flitted from branch to branch, excited by the prospect of a warm, wonderful afternoon. I would gladly change places with one of them, I thought, and become a mere bird, but at least a creature who could move about at its own will and enjoy what life it had.