Page 4

After we disconnect, I sit in the dim glow of my monitor, twirling a strand of hair around my finger. The quiet of my apartment presses in. My bedroom—with walls covered in gaming posters and action figures lining my shelves—is my sanctuary and sometimes my prison.

I’ve never felt so connected to someone who’s essentially a ghost. Rogue knows what music I listen to when I’m sad. He remembers which foods I’m allergic to. He can tell when I’ve had a bad day before I say a word.

Yet, I’ve never seen his face. Never touched his hand. Never confirmed he’s even real beyond that voice in my headset.

I glance at my webcam, and a chill runs through me. Is it supposed to have that green light? I could have sworn I turned it off after my last stream. I cover it with a sticky note—something I don’t usually do. The paranoia is probably ridiculous, but still.

I pull up GamerCon’s website, staring at the countdown clock. Ten days. I’ve been looking forward to it for months—my first major convention. I bought the outfit for cosplaying as Luna from Stellar Wars. I’ve saved up. Planned everything.

And stupidly, I’d built up this fantasy of finally meetingRoguethere.

My phone lights up with a notification. It’s fromGhostDaddy’sTikTok—another video posted. I tap it immediately, hungry for the distraction.

I wonder whatRoguewould think if he knew I followed Thirst Trap gaming accounts. Would he laugh? Judge me?

TheGhostDaddyvideo plays on my phone. A muscular guy dressed as Ghost from Call of Duty demonstrates combat moves in slow motion. The tight black shirt clings to his abs as he executes each precise movement. My stomach clenches when he turns to the camera and delivers Ghost’s signature line in a gravelly voice.

I press my thighs together, suddenly aware of how pathetic this is—getting hot and bothered over some anonymous TikTok cosplayer while lying alone in my bed at one in the morning.

My hand hovers over my waistband, butRogue’srejection echoes in my head. “Reality is overrated.” Easy for him to say. My reality is this—fantasizing about strangers on the internet because the one guy I connect with won’t even meet me for coffee.

“Fuck it,” I mutter, tossing my phone aside. The mood’s gone, anyway.

I grab my phone again and dialJenna. She answers on the third ring, voice thick with sleep.

“Kira? What’s wrong? It’s after one.”

“He’s not coming to GamerCon,” I say, not bothering with hello. “Again.”

A rustling sound, like she’s sitting up in bed. “Rogue? The mystery man strikes again, huh?”

“I don’t get it, Jen. We talk every night. He knows everything about me. But he won’t even?—”

“Meet you in person? Sweetie, we’ve been over this.” Her voice softens. “Have you considered he might not be who he says he is?”

I stare at my ceiling. The glow-in-the-dark stars I put up freshman year faded to dull yellow patches. “You think he’s some fifty-year-old creep?”

“Or married. Or just... not ready for whatever this is to be real.”

“I’ve thought about all that,” I admit, my voice smaller than I’d like. “Sometimes I get this weird feeling he knows more about me than he should. Like he’s stalking me.” I laugh nervously. “God, that sounds so paranoid when I say it out loud.”

“It’s not paranoid,”Jennasays firmly. “It’s your instincts talking. You should listen to them.”

I roll onto my side, curling around my phone like a lifeline. “Why am I so hung up on someone who’s basically a voice and a Gamertag?”

“Because you’re a romantic who lives half her life in virtual worlds?”Jennasuggests. “Look, GamerCon will be amazing with or without your internet boyfriend. We’ll have so much fun you won’t even think about him.”

“You’re right.” I sigh, lettingJenna’spractical wisdom wash over me. “I’m building this fantasy around someone who won’t even turn on his webcam.”

“Exactly. For all you know, Rogue could be a fourteen-year-old prodigy or using a voice modulator.”

I laugh despite myself. “God, don’t even joke about that. I’ve told him things I’ve never told anyone.”

“You deserve someone who shows up, not just logs in.”Jennayawns, but I can tell she’s fully awake now. “GamerCon is going to be epic. The cosplay competition alone will be worth the ticket price.”

The knot in my chest loosens a little. “Speaking of cosplay, how’s your Tracer costume coming along?”

“Almost done! Found these yellow leggings that don’t make my butt look weird. The chronal accelerator thing was a nightmare, though. Three failed attempts before I got the glow right.”