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“Oh, shit,” she says as she takes us all in. “Honey.” She glares at Ryan. “I thought you said just the guys were coming over.”
I take a few more steps back.
“Quintessa,” my dad says. His voice is that fatherly tone. The one he uses when he’s trying to tell me I need to behave a certain way.
He hasn’t seen what Mom’s been like since he left though.
I’m going to be sick. I turn and head for the front door, tears already sliding down my face. My dad calls after me, but I stumble outside.
My dad and Mrs. Linc. Ryan knows. Theyallknow. My mom and I have been trying to keep the separation a secret while my dad—
Footsteps run through the grass behind me. I whirl only because I think it’s my dad and I want to tell him I think he’s the biggest piece of shit ever, but it’s not my dad. It’s Ryan. “You,” I say, my voice trembling. I can feel the hot tears as they mark my face. They’re like a brand, not something I can hide from the boy I’ve sworn I’d hide everything from since that night at camp. “Fuck you,” I say. “Fuck you, fuck you. Just, fuck you.”
I turn, but he grabs my hand and pulls. “Fuck me? For what? I didn’t do shit.”
“You’ve done plenty of shit!” I scream. My own voice isn’t recognizable to me. I’m losing it. A dog howls, and a few neighbors turn their lights on. Doesn’t he know what he’s done to me? Not just in the past, but now?
He winces, but it isn’t half as much as I’ve felt from him.
Anger surges inside me, and all I want to do is make him pay for this. He knew this whole time. I laugh, pulling my hands through my hair. “I get it. Your mom’s a fucking whore.”
“Don’t you fucking dare call her that.”
“No? Why? My parents aren’t even divorced yet. Did you know that?” I look behind his shoulder. “Does your mom know that?” I yell even louder. “They’re not even fucking separated yet!” I say it with so much force, my body doubles in half as I scream it, and my fists clench at my sides. I turn back to him. “Isn’t that the definition of a whore? And you knew, this whole time. You’ve been around me almost every single day since I started at Rockport. You knew, and you didn’t say shit. That’s why fuck you, Ryan. That’s why.”
I spin away, heading to my car. “You think I asked for this?” he asks from behind me. His voice has lost some of the anger. He’s not the confident point guard right now.
“I don’t care,” I tell him. It’s the first time I’ve ever said those words in relation to Ryan Linc and meant them. I’d try to tell myself I didn’t care about him, but I always did. Not after this. It doesn’t just involve me anymore. My family’s been brought in now, too.
“Tess,” he says, his words laced in anguish.
I fumble with my keys. “Don’t fucking call me that!” I wince. Only my parents call me that. Of course he would know about that because what? My dad lives with him now? How is this happening?
I hit the unlock button, but nothing happens. I hit it again, smashing my finger into the fob until the tip of my finger turns white. His arms come around me from behind. “You can’t drive home like this.”
I struggle against him. “Let me go!”
“You’re not driving home like this,” he says more forcefully.
“I don’t care what you want, Ryan. I need to go home. I need to tell my mother what a piece of shit my father is.” I cry harder at the thought, my vision blurring.
He ignores me. “Hayes!” he calls out, his voice raw. Hayes comes to the door, loping toward us, his hands in his pocket. His lips are thin. “I need you to drive Tessa home.”
I kick off the car, nearly knocking both of us over. I probably would have if Hayes didn’t reach out and catch us both. “Let me go!”
“Ryan,” Hayes says, his voice questioning.
“No!” Ryan says, gripping me harder.
I’m back on my feet. I still in his arms. “I swear to God if you don’t both let me fucking go right now…”
Hayes puts his hand on Ryan’s shoulder. After a long breath, Ryan’s grip relaxes on me, and then he steps away. He’s all taut muscle and searing fury. I finally get the unlock button to work, and I step one foot in my car.
Hayes is propping Ryan up when I look back at them. “Tell my dad if he doesn’t want me to tell my mom first, he better fucking beat me there.” I laugh without feeling. “I’m guessing he probably doesn’t give a shit though since he’s content on playing house.” Another ache opens in my chest when I picture them together in Ryan’s home. Ryan is me. Ryan is the son my dad always wanted. Dad hasn’t seen me in two weeks, but he’s probably seen Ryan every fucking night. I swallow the emptiness trying to take me whole. “By the way, what did you do last weekend?”
Ryan’s Adam’s apple bobs. When he talks, his voice cracks. “We introduced my mom’s parents to Tim.”
I nodded. Of course they did. “Tell my dad it’s cool because I didn’t want to see him anyway.”