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Not wanting to subject the people in here to another second of this unrequested discussion about body parts, I give the guy a free lesson in human anatomy and vocabulary. “Never use that word again. It’s a cock, or a dick, or in the presence of your mother, if you’re facing a deadly infection in your groin area, call it a penis.”

The brown-haired one scrubs a hand over his forehead. “We all call it a pecker.”

I look behind him. “There are more of you? For the love of God, don’t let that be true.”

The shorter, blond one smirks. “Why are you bothering us? We were minding our own business until you butt in.”

I rub my jaw. “You were subjecting everyone within earshot to a discussion that should never have happened.”

“What discussion?” they ask in unison.

I inch up my left eyebrow. “Think back.”

They glance at each other before the dark-haired one smiles at his friend. “Oh, yeah. I was telling you about the randos I fucked… and you…”

“Women,” I correct him before he can add to that.

“Right, women.” The blond guy nods. “I was telling Ryan about the women I fucked, too.”

Now that we’ve established that one of these assholes is named Ryan, I feel the need to clarify who the other one is. “And you are?”

“Jason,” the blond offers. “Jason Goodman.”

He’s not living up to his surname. For a hefty price I could help him with that, but I don’t have more time to waste on these two at the moment since Percy is patiently waiting for me.

“Jason and Ryan,” I say each name slowly. “I’m inclined to believe you were both lying about what your dicks got up to this past week.”

“A cute brunette did smile at me,” Jason blurts out.

“There was a blonde at the bus stop who talked to me,” Ryan chimes in. “She told me to stop staring. That still counts, right?”

Shaking my head, I exhale harshly. “Women are wonderful. All women are exquisite and deserve to be treated as the gifts they are. So when, or if you ever do, take a woman to bed, keep your damn mouths shut about it. If a woman is willing to share herself with you, respect that.”

They stare at me.

“I’m serious,” I accentuate each syllable. “Got it?”

“Yeah.” Ryan nods.

“Got it,” Jason adds.

My hand dives into the inner pocket of my suit jacket to retrieve a business card. I place it in Ryan’s palm. “This is my tailor. Visit him, and he’ll fix that suit jacket. It looks like you stole it out of your dad’s closet.”

“I did.” He sighs. “I can’t afford a new one.”

“You’ll get a great deal on a gently worn suit and the alterations you’ll need to make it look like a million bucks if you tell him William sent you.”

“William,” he repeats my name.“Thanks, man.”

I tilt my chin down. “Spring for a manicure or a good nail brush. Women notice shit like that, and if you ever want to have sex, you need to clean yourself up.”

“I’ve had sex,” he lies.

“You haven’t,” I challenge him. “Be honest.”

“I will soon,” he alters his response. “One day soon.”

I have my doubts, but I leave him and his friend so I can head back to Percy. Manhattan is teeming with men who don’t have a clue. I can’t help them all, but I do what I can as often as I can.