Page 7
Story: Fortunes of War
Leif managed not to growl; swallowed the sound at the last moment so it was more of a cough.
Ragnar chuckled. “Oh, come now. Growl at me. You don’t have to pretend to be civilized. Not withme.”
Leifdidgrowl, then, unable to help it, and Ragnar’s resulting grin was delighted.
I hate you, he thought, but couldn’t say…because it wasn’t true.
“But. Seriously.” Ragnar sobered and sat upright, crossing his legs and resting his forearms on his knees. “Whydon’tyou sleep? It isn’t because you’re not exhausted – you’ve the ragged face of a wet nurse these days.”
Leif frowned at him.
“You know.” Ago ongesture. “Because they don’t get much…you know what I mean. My point is: youwantto sleep. Youneedsleep. So why won’t you?”
Leif clenched his jaw against the urge to respond. He’d not spoken to anyone about his…dream problem. He confided little to nothing to his brother these days, and less to Erik, who gazed on Leif with the weight of disappointment heavy across the ridge of his knitted brows. He looked at Leif as if he was lost to him; gone mad or grievously wounded. Past hope. Mother and Oliver were the most outwardly supportive – and Oliver even possessed his own kind of magic – but he didn’t feel as if he could have an honest discussion with either of them. He could sense their judgement behind their smiles.
But here was Ragnar, seemingly eager to listen.
Ragnar who was also a wolf.
Who was the whole source of Leif’s misery, now, being the one who’d turned him. Still…
The gritty, sand-filled sensation when he blinked, and a massive, jaw-cracking yawn decided for him.
“It’s…” Deciding didn’t make it easy, however. “The dreams.”
Ragnar stared at him with a wolf’s fixed attention, that, in theory, should have made confessing more difficult, but was instead such a reminder of their shared fate – their inhumanity – that it loosened his jaw. “I’m always a wolf in my dreams.”
Clearly puzzled, Ragnar shrugged. “And you don’t like that because…?”
“I’malwaysa wolf. Shouldn’t I appear as myselfsometimesin my dreams?”
Ragnar’s eyes widened, and then his expression slid into lines of infuriating smugness. “Ah.”
“What do you mean, ‘ah’?”
Like flesh parting beneath the slow slice of a knife, Ragnar smiled. “There’s your mistake: you think of it is awolf, and asmyself.”
Leif had learned not to take the bait in these sorts of conversational traps; Ragnar loved being asked questions, having hiswisdomsought, or some such.
His smile dimmed a fraction, when Leif didn’t prod him, but he pressed on regardless. “You are only ever yourself. There is noyouseparate from thewolf. You’re the wolf and the wolf is you.”
Leif stared at him.
Ragnar lifted his hands, half-helpless, half-frustrated. “Were you searching for a more complicated answer? Something earth-shattering? The truth so rarely is, alpha.”
Because staring was proving effective, Leif did it some more.
Ragnar huffed. “You don’t like to shift, and you spend all day trying to force the wolf down deep, where no one will see or hear him. But he wants – no, heneeds– to come out, and so he does when you sleep. My educated guess would be that he’ll continue to take control in your dreams until you let him out to play during the daylight.”
The worst part was: he knew Ragnar was correct, in this instance. The more he tried to suppress it, the more insistent the wolf became, until it was an effort not to snarl and snap at his family over the last ham roll at breakfast.
That was another thing: his appetite had increased. His taste for meat, specifically. The North had always been a place where large helpings of venison, or pork, or beef, or lamb were heaped onto plates at every meal. Here, there were no tea cakes, or jellies, or watercress sandwiches that one might have expected in the South, but real food, cut into portions intended for warriors. And still, Leif was hungry.
Was almost desperate for a woman in a way he’d never been before. He’d caught himself eyeing a kitchen girl just the other day, and been appalled to discover he was becoming a letch.
He was boiling inside his own skin, on edge and ready to explode at a moment’s notice. Even if he knew it was the wolf driving all his basic urges now, teeth bared and ears pinned, furious over being restrained, that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
Ragnar said, “You’re a fool.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7 (Reading here)
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165