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your grandpa left me… I just felt like I was pretty much in

shut down mode and I had to make all these plans suddenly. I

felt totally blindsided. I booked time off work and booked a

flight and between all that and thin

king about the lawyer and

renting a car and just being back here and all the thoughts and

feelings that stirred up…”

“You didn’t know how to talk to your parents so you

thought you’d try and buy yourself some time.”

“Yeah. I hate lying to them, but I just couldn’t get my act

together to think about how to talk to them. It wasn’t because I

didn’t think they’d be approachable. I was just- I don’t know. I

could barely function. I should have told them, but I guess I

was thinking of doing what you said. Buying myself time. I

thought it would be easier to tell them when I knew what was

going on and I didn’t have this big unknown. I kept thinking

about you. They would have asked me tons of questions about

if I was going to see you and your family, and honestly, I

didn’t know. When Jim Johnson phoned me, he said that your

family didn’t want me to come to the funeral so he was asked

not to make arrangements with me until after. I was pretty

hurt, but I understood. It would have made something that was

already horrible that much harder. I knew I wasn’t popular and

I knew why and I didn’t blame any of you. I guess I just could

barely even string two thoughts together before I got on that

flight, and answering a thousand questions from my parents

would have just stressed me out, even if they meant well and

were worried. I’m going to tell them as soon as I get home.”

Quinn set her elbows on the island and cupped her chin in

her hands.