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“No! Blake is my person, and I want a future with her, no matter what that looks like.”

“Then what’s the sad panda face for?”

I rolled my eyes. She always had a way with words. “It has nothing to do with Blake. I received some bad news, but it will be okay.”

She jumped up and sat on my desk. “You’re not dying, are you?”

“That went from zero to hundred pretty fast. Um, no. At least, not to my knowledge. It was a work thing, but I promise, it’s no big deal. I didn’t want my bad mood to bring Blake down.”

“I get that, but if she’s your person, she would want to be there for you. Through the good and the bad.” Apparently, booed-up Shanny was a relationship guru.

I scoffed. “You’re probably right.”

“That’s obvious. But I want to be here for you, too.” She stared at me with her crystal eyes, and I smiled.

“I appreciate that. But until I have good news, I’d rather keep this to myself if you don’t mind.”

“That’s fine. As long as you come to me if you need something.” She quirked a brow in my direction.

“I will. So, tell me more about you and Toni. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you like this about anyone before.”

She got this goofy grin on her face, and I wondered if that was how mine looked any time I talked about Blake.

“Toni is… different.” She giggled, and I had to hide my amusement so she would continue. “She is so attentive in the bedroom and takes direction. I’ve never been with such an intense lover.”

A pang of jealousy washed over me because I wished to show Blake that kind of affection.

“And she has her shit together. It’s refreshing not having to pay for everything or being the only person without roommates.”

Did she really expect anything less when she typically dated women right out of college? Of course, I’d never say that out loud.

“That’s amazing, Shanny. I’m so happy for you. You two seem very compatible.” I was glad to see her with someone who was her equal.

“So, tell me about you and Ms. Thang.” She waggled her eyebrows, and I stared at her blankly.

“Don’t call her that.”

She held up her hands in surrender. “Sorry. But seriously. You love her, and I have no deets about your relationship. How did you get there? What’s she like? How’s the sex?”

How did I know this conversation would turn to that? It wasn’t a topic I was fully ready to discuss since, for one, we hadn’t consummated our relationship, and for two, Blake and I hadn’t even talked about it.

Our first thoughts on sex were that we would take things slow because we didn’t want to jump into things and potentially blow up our relationship. But now that we had spent so much time together and exchanged I love yous, I was almost a little gun-shy about it because it had been such a long time coming. It seemed like everything had to be perfect now, which was a lot of pressure.

Not only had it been a very long time since I slept with someone I loved, but I had never experienced this kind of intensity towards anyone, and it almost made me feel inadequate. What if I didn’t portray my love the way I wanted? What if we weren’t sexually compatible? How would that affect our relationship?

“Did you go down a rabbit hole?” Shanny’s voice broke me from my wild thoughts. “You’ve seriously been staring into space for the last five minutes.”

“You asked what I love about Blake.” I let out a satisfying breath. “The list is exhaustive, but for a start. She is smart and sassy. She doesn’t take a lot of shit from anyone, but she also has a heart of gold. She doesn’t like to show vulnerability, but with me, she lets her guard down and invites me inside. She has so many great qualities, and the more I find out, the harder I fall.” I had never been so sappy in all my life, but the words poured out of me from my soul.

“Wow. So, who cries first after sex?” Shanny laughed, and I shook my head.

“Why do you have to be a jerk?”

“Come on. I was kidding. But really? How is it? Being in love is supposed to make it that much better. Is it true?”

“I’m not one to discuss my private life.”

“Okay. I won’t press the issue, but nod if I’m right.”