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I was pregnant.

A rush of emotions flooded through me—fear, uncertainty, but also a glimmer of something else. A sliver of hope and joy. The smallest, but fighting with every passing second to be heard.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, Elena's eyes searched mine for answers even before I uttered a word. I walked over to where she sat on the sofa, and took a seat beside her, placing the test between us.

“Holy shit,” Elena whispered, eyes fixed on the test. “You're having my brother's baby.”

I was pregnant. With Gio's child. While he still thought I might have betrayed him. While I was still hurt by his lack of faith in me. While we were broken in ways I wasn't sure could be repaired.

Would he even want a baby? A baby with me?

A nervous knot formed in my chest and I grabbed Elena’s wrist. “You can't tell him. Promise me, Elena. I need to be the one to tell him when the time is right.”

“Of course,” she assured me without skipping a beat. “I wouldn’t dare take this away from you.”

She misunderstood. I didn’t want to surprise him. I needed time to think, but I knew I couldn’t tell her that.

“Thank you,” I whispered as she leaned in to give me a hug. She held me tightly, and I allowed myself a moment of respite, the touch soothing me.

“Congratulations,” she whispered again as she pulled away.

“Thank you,” I said again, this time daring to break out into the smallest smile.

***

After Elena left, I curled up in bed. My heart raced at various speeds. It calmed when I thought of a tiny being in my arms at some point in the future. I panicked when I thought of Gio, terrified that he might not want this baby.

What if he still couldn't trust me? What kind of life would our child have, caught between parents who couldn't bridge their differences?

What should I do,I wondered. Would it be better for my child if I kept this a secret? How long could I have kept this secret?

The sound of the door opening startled me from my thoughts. I looked up to see it was Gio, back from work.

“Hey,” he said softly, entering and closing the door behind him. “How are you?”

“On the mend,” I said in an equally soft voice. That was true. Now that I knew I was pregnant, I realized I needed to change my diet, and I would be fine. But, I didn’t tell him that.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said. To my surprise, rather than leaving as he usually did after our polite exchanges of the past few days, he walked up to me and perched himself on the side of my bed. I scooted over, giving him some space and when I looked back at him, frowned at the dark circles bruising under his eyes.

“You haven’t been sleeping well,” I observed. He looked up in surprise that I hadn’t masked my concern or my judgment.

“No,” he shook his head in admittance. “I haven’t.”

“Something on your mind?”

“Larissa,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I've been an idiot.”

“That's not news,” I said, though my attempt at humor fell flat. The pain still lingered and shone through.

“I should have trusted you,” he sighed and reached for my hand, but I was still so hurt that I couldn’t help but pull it away. I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes and for a moment, felt guilty as hell for being the cause of it, but he owed me a better explanation before I pretended all was fine.

“You should have,” I whispered, clasping my hands in my lap as I waited for him to explain. “What changed?”

“I’ve been thinking of all the times I was wrong. You’ve never given me a reason to not trust you, but I thought otherwise from the start. What happened that day… I should have given you a chance to explain before accusing you. I let my fears cloud my judgment.”

“Your fear?” I asked. “Fear of what, Gio?”

Pain flashed in his eyes, and when he looked at me, he seemed positively haunted. “Fear that I let myself imagine you wanted the same things I wanted. Fear that I’d dug myself in too deep and I couldn’t imagine the pain of losing you, Larissa.”