Page 9
Story: Fixing Hearts
Jo felt a warmth spread through her chest that had nothing to do with the wine or the fire. “Yeah, well,” she said. “I’ve got layers.”
“I’m beginning to see that,” Evelyn replied, her voice soft and full of something Jo couldn’t quite name. She studied Evelyn’s face in the soft glow of the firelight. There was a flush on her cheeks, a brightness in her eyes that made Jo’s breath catch. Without thinking, she leaned closer and tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind Evelyn’s ear. Evelyn froze at the touch, her eyes meeting Jo’s with an intensity that suddenly made the room feel too warm. Jo’s hand lingered, touching Evelyn’s cheek gently.This is it, she thought.This is where I make my move, kiss the girl, and start the process of inevitably leading her to the bedroom.Still, as she gazed into Evelyn’s eyes, Jo felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to slow down. She wanted to savor the moment and explore the connection that seemed to be building between them. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
“Evelyn,” Jo whispered. “I think—”
Before she could finish her thought, Evelyn set her wine on the coffee table and closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to Jo’s in a kiss that was both soft and urgent. Jo responded instinctively, her hand coming to rest on Evelyn’s waist, pulling her closer. The kiss deepened, and Jo felt herself getting lost in the sensation. As Evelyn’s fingers tangled in her hair, Jo felt a surge of something that went beyond physical attraction.
Pulling back slightly, Jo rested her forehead against Evelyn’s, both of them breathing heavily. “Damn you’re a good kisser,” she murmured, a smile tugging at her lips.
Evelyn laughed softly, her breath warm against Jo’s skin. “Am I really?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “I haven’t had much practice.”
Jo’s mind raced, conflicting emotions warring within her. The part of her that had always kept things casual, that had avoided emotional entanglements, wanted to push forward, to lose herself in the physical pleasure she knew awaited them, and yet another part wanted to explore this connection to see where it might lead. She pulled Evelyn closer, intensifying the kiss, pouring all the conflicting emotions she was feeling into it. Evelyn responded eagerly, her body melting against Jo’s.
As the kiss grew hotter, Jo felt the familiar stirrings of hunger, but there was something else too. It was an unexpected tenderness she hadn’t ever felt before. Slowly, Jo pulled back, her breath coming in short gasps. Evelyn’s blue eyes were dark with desire, her lips swollen from their kisses. It took every ounce of willpower Jo possessed not to give in to the urge to carry her to the bedroom right in that moment. She found herself at a crossroads. The chemistry between them was undeniable, but there was also this new, fragile connection that she was afraid of rushing. She wanted to do this right, to give whatever was growing between them a real chance, but her body seemed to have a mind of its own. Unable to resist, she kissed Evelyn harder.
Flickers of firelight danced across Jo’s living room, and soft music played in the background, but all Evelyn could think about was Jo. They sat on the couch, Evelyn’s body pressed so close to Jo’s she was nearly in her lap, while the woman kissed her. For a moment, everything else in the world fell away. Her hands had somehow found their way into Jo’s hair, and Jo’s strong, steady hands had slid tighter around her waist, increasing the intensity of their kiss. The insistent press of their bodies sent heat coursing through Evelyn, solidifying the attraction she had felt since seeing Jo at the bar.
Yet, as intense as it was, a creeping sensation started working its way through Evelyn’s chest. Jo’s hands moved upward now, exploring further, more intimately. Evelyn’s stomach twisted, her heart slamming inside her chest. The closeness was suddenly too much. Without thinking, she stiffened, her breath catching in her throat. Jo immediately responded to the shift.
Slowing her movements, Jo pulled back enough to search her eyes. “Are you okay?” Jo’s voice was soft but concerned too.
Evelyn nodded automatically, panic bubbling inside her. She felt Jo’s gaze on her, clearly trying to understand, to make sure everything was all right.Jo, she thought.So different from anyone else.Sweet and caring, even though I know she wants me.And I want her… but can I really have sex with her already?“I need to use the bathroom,” Evelyn blurted out, barely managing to hide the slight tremor in her voice. “Where is it?”
“In the hall, second door to the right,” Jo answered, sounding a little confused.
“Thank you,” Evelyn said as she slipped off the couch before Jo had a chance to say another word and nearly ran to the bathroom, her legs unsteady beneath her. Once inside, she shut the door with more force than necessary and pressed her back against it with her pulse thundering in her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to still herself, trying to push back the flood of panic that threatened to demolish her.Breathe, she silently commanded herself.Just breathe. Moving to stand in front of the sink, she gripped its edges like a lifeline. Her reflection in the mirror stared back at her, wide-eyed and flushed. She looked wild and nothing like the Evelyn Barkley, Research Assistant, who had it all together. “What’s wrong with me?” she muttered to her reflection.
She really liked Jo. That wasn’t the issue.God, that isn’t the issue at all, she thought. Her lips tingled from their kiss, the wayJo’s soft but confident manner had settled into her bones since they met. She wanted this. The excitement, the connection, Jo’s touch.But then why can’t I do it? Why can’t I take the next step? Why is my brain flooding with doubts and fears the moment things matter?
Evelyn groaned, trying to collect herself. “You can do this,” she whispered firmly, as if saying it would make it true. “Jo’s great. She’s not going to hurt you. Just go back out there and… just…” Her own voice trailed off in a futile attempt to convince herself that she could do it, that it wasn’t too much, too soon. But the truth swirled around her like a storm cloud. No matter how incredible Jo was, no matter how easy things had seemed, Evelyn wasn’t ready.I can’t go back out there, she thought.Not like this. Evelyn took her phone from her pocket. Anything was better than facing Jo. She was not ready for an intense conversation about all her insecurities.
Without any more hesitation, she opened the Uber app. As she fumbled to press the ‘current location’ option, her heart pounded with each second as she anxiously waited for the screen to load the availability of nearby cars.
Three minutes away.
A wave of relief hit her. Three minutes. She had an out. If she could simply wait in the bathroom and not face the churning confusion inside her, it would all be okay. She would leave, go home, and text Jo later to apologize and make some excuse. After she figured out what she was feeling. Biting her lip, she tapped her foot nervously against the bathroom’s tiled floor. It felt like a betrayal with her brain and her body fighting each other.I like Jo. A lot, she thought.But I just can’t do something so unfamiliar.
Checking her phone again, she saw there was one minute left before the Uber would arrive. Her chest squeezed tight. She hadto go. It was time to leave, because if she stayed, she didn’t know how she could explain.
Five
Sitting on her couch, Jo stared down the hallway toward the closed bathroom door. The soft sounds of indie music filled her living room, and the fireplace crackled gently, but her mind was elsewhere. Her stomach clenched with unfamiliar anxiety as minutes ticked by with Evelyn still in the bathroom. It wasn’t how these nights usually went.Usually, by now...Jo shook her head, trying to clear the thought.This isn’t usual. Evelyn isn’t just another conquest. The realization hit her with surprising force, making her grip the edge of the couch cushion. “What’s happening to me?” she whispered to the empty room. The Jo Fuller she knew didn’t get nervous. She didn’t second-guess herself.And I certainly don’t develop feelings beyond physical attraction. Yet here she was, palms sweaty, wondering if she had somehow messed everything up by moving too fast.
Her eyes drifted to the motorcycle posters on her walls, then to the wildlife photography prints beside them. The contrast made her smile despite her nerves. They shouldn’t work together, but somehow they did.Exactly like me and Evelyn, she thought.So different, yet there is something there. But am I really ready to explore that?
When Evelyn did not return, Jo stood, pacing the length of her living room.Should I check on her?she wondered.Knock on the door?She shook her head.No.Better to give her space. Still, worry gnawed at her.Did I come on too strong? Did I misread the signals?Their kisses replayed in her mind. The tenderness, the passion, the way Evelyn had melted against her, but there had been something else too. A vulnerability in Evelyn’s eyes that made Jo want to protect her, not only desire her. Running a hand through her hair, Jo made a decision. When Evelyn came out, she would tell her they should slow things down. The thought was foreign.Me suggesting we not sleep together?Mica will never believe it. But it felt right.
“I’ll just tell her,” Jo practiced quietly, rehearsing the words. “Evelyn, I really like you. And because I like you, I don’t want to rush this. I want to get to know you better first.” The words felt strange on her tongue, but they were true. For the first time in her life, Jo wanted more than simply physical intimacy. She wanted more. The thought should have terrified her. Instead, it filled her with an unexpected warmth. The bathroom door opening snapped Jo from her thoughts. She turned, the words she had practiced ready on her lips, but they died instantly at the look on Evelyn’s face.
“I need to go,” Evelyn said, her voice tight. “I’ve called an Uber.”
Jo blinked. “What?”
“It’s waiting outside,” Evelyn continued, already moving to gather her things. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”
The world seemed to tilt on its axis. Jo’s chest tightened as she watched Evelyn slip off her motorcycle jacket and lay it on a chair near the door. “Evelyn, wait,” Jo managed. “Did I do something wrong? If I moved too fast—”
“No, it’s not you,” Evelyn cut her off, not meeting her eyes. “It’s me. I’m just not ready for this.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9 (Reading here)
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60