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"Morning, sleeping beauty," Julian teased, pausing his story. "Your roommate abandoned you again?"

I shrugged, reaching for the pitcher of orange juice. "She gets up early. Not everybody sleeps until noon like you do."

"Probably eager to hit the slopes before anyone can see how much of a show-off she is," Victoria commented, her voice dripping with disdain.

"She's not showing off," I said before I could stop myself. "She's just good at snowboarding."

Victoria raised an eyebrow, exchanging a look with Audrey that made my skin prickle with annoyance. "Since when are you defending Little Miss Perfect?"

"Yeah, Mads," Julian chimed in, his tone mocking. "Don't tell me you've actually started to like your charity case roommate?"

"She's not a charity case," I snapped, suddenly feeling a surge of defensiveness. "And maybe if you weren't so busy making crude comments yesterday, you'd have noticed she's actually a decent person."

A stunned silence fell over the table. Sam shifted uncomfortably beside me, while Victoria and Audrey stared at me like I'd grown a second head. Julian was the first to recover, his surprise quickly morphing into amusement.

"Well, well," he drawled. "Looks like someone's got a little girl crush on the snowboard nerd."

Heat flooded my cheeks, though whether from embarrassment or anger, I wasn't sure. "Don't be ridiculous. I just think maybe we could all try being a little less judgmental for once."

"Says the queen of judgment," Victoria muttered, rolling her eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, my voice sharper than intended.

"Come on, Mads," she scoffed. "You're the one who's constantly critiquing everyone and everything. Or did you forget that entire conversation last month about how Leah's new haircut made her look like, and I quote, 'a sad poodle caught in a rainstorm'?"

I felt something twist in my stomach, a sick sort of realization that she was right. I did say things like that, all the time. When had I become that person? Had I always been that way?

"Whatever," I said, pushing my plate away and standing up. "I'm going to hit the slopes. I'll see you guys later."

"Wait, I'll come with you," Sam offered, starting to rise as well.

"No," I said quickly, perhaps too quickly based on the hurt that flashed across his face. "I kind of want to practice on my own for a bit. I'll catch up with you later."

Before anyone could protest further, I walked away, ignoring the whispers that immediately broke out behind me. I knew they were talking about me, probably speculating on what was wrong with me or why I was suddenly defending Brooke, of all people.

The thing was, I didn't really know myself.

Outside, the morning air was crisp and cold, the sky a brilliant blue that promised another perfect day on the mountain. I grabbed my snowboard from the equipment check and headed toward the lifts, my mind buzzing with conflicting thoughts.

Why had I defended Brooke? Why did Julian's comments bother me so much? And why couldn't I stop thinking about Brooke's question from last night?

Who are you lying to?

The worst part was, I didn't have an answer. I didn't know who I was anymore—or if I'd ever really known to begin with. I'd spent so long being what everyone expected me to be—thepopular girl, the perfect girlfriend, the queen bee—that I wasn't sure what parts of me were real and what parts were just an act.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't even pay attention to which lift line I was entering. It wasn't until I was already seated and the chair was moving that I realized I wasn't alone.

Brooke sat beside me, looking just as surprised as I felt. She was bundled up in her snowboarding gear, a beanie pulled low over her ears, her helmet laying on the seat beside her, her cheeks already flushed from the cold. For a moment, neither of us spoke, the only sound the mechanical whir of the lift carrying us higher up the mountain.

Ten minutes. That's how long this lift ride would take to reach the top. Ten minutes trapped next to the last person I wanted to see right now—the girl whose words had been haunting me since last night, the girl I'd just inexplicably defended to my friends, the girl who somehow seemed to see right through me in a way that terrified me more than I cared to admit.

Ten long minutes with nowhere to go and nothing to do but face whatever uncomfortable conversation was about to unfold between us.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

BROOKE

I'd woken before my alarm, that familiar excitement of a fresh powder day making it impossible to stay in bed. In the dim light, I could just make out Madeline's sleeping form. She looked different when she slept—younger, less guarded. I moved quietly through the room, not wanting to wake her. Truth be told, I enjoyed these early morning escapes. No one to deal with, just me and the mountain.