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“Shhhhh.” He pressed me against his chest, his hand holding me securely at the back of my neck. “It’s okay. Remember whatI said when I started this conversation. I love you, and you need to trust me. I am handling it.”
“But how does that work, Caleb?” I asked sadly. I couldn’t imagine what he could say to calm the panic rising up inside me.
“I’ve already put in motion to have security on you every second I’m not with you. You shouldn’t go into your office today or maybe this entire week. You can work from the penthouse and have Eduardo come meet you there. I can call your boss when we get to my office.”
“Bloody security guards?” I couldn’t even imagine that scenario.
“I’m afraid it’s necessary, baby. I’m so sorry, but it wouldn’t be safe for you without security, and I won’t take that chance. You’re too precious, and there are too many fucking lunatics in the world.”
“Like someone might try to kidnap me for ransom or something?” Where had all the oxygen gone? I felt suddenly sick.
“Oh fuck, don’t say that. Nobody is going to get close enough to have the chance to do anything to you. I will make sure. Brooke, baby...it’s okay. You’ve just gotten a rude introduction to how the media feeds off celebrities just because they have fame, or in my case, wealth.”
“You’re angry about what they’ve said about us,” I said from against his chest where he was holding me so close to his heart.
“What? Angry? No! I’m not angry about the picture or what it suggests. I love you, and we are together. End of. They would’ve gotten hold of it eventually. I’m so sorry, Brooke, but it’s just one of those not-so-pleasant consequences that come with being with me.”
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t really. The shock of what he was saying had barely registered in all parts of my very befuddled brain. Caleb rubbed a hand up and down my back while he held me.
The silence drew out, becoming uncomfortable as the seconds ticked on. Finally, I pulled myself out of his hold and looked down at my lap. I couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Brooke?” His voice sounded thready.
“Yes?” I kept my head down, still unable to look at him.
“This is the part where you are supposed to say something like, ‘I know you love me, Caleb, and I don’t care if the world knows about us because I love you, too.’” His voice carried an edge, and I could tell my silence had made him feel as if I were rejecting him.
I lifted my eyes to find him looking very concerned, and maybe even a little hurt. “Oh, Caleb, I know you love me, and I love you back. I am frightened of people invading my personal space...and knowing things about me.I like my quiet life.I want to keep my quiet life as it is.” If he only knew how terrified the thought of photographers snapping my picture and strangers following me around made me feel, he might be a bit more understanding.Smothered. Suffocated. Controlled.Those were the feelings I hadn’t felt since I’d come back to the island. Those were the feelings associated with Marcus and his terrifying instability.Breathe.
But this wasn’t the same thing at all. Itfeltthe same, but I had never been safe with Marcus.I was safe with Caleb, though. Caleb wasn’t trying to controlmebut keep me safe. Safe.
And safety was on the island.
“I know you do, but I can’t promise your life will ever be the way it was before, at least not for a while.”
“Caleb, I can’t?—”
“What? You’re saying you can’t be with me now?” The look he gave me ripped into my heart.
I took a shuddering breath. “Not publicly, Caleb. I can’t go back to Boston right now. I’m staying here. I’ll work from thecottage this week.” I knew I was babbling senselessly, but I couldn’t still the panic building inside my chest.
“Brooke, there is no way I am leaving you here unprotected, or letting you out of my sight right now. No fuckin’ way, so you can just forget that idea, baby, and let it go right on out of your pretty head.” He glared at me in a way I had never seen from him before. “You’re coming back to Bostonwith meuntil I can get your security situated,” he insisted, reaching for me.
“But I didn’t choose this,” I snapped, pulling back from his hands. “I didn’t choose this.” This time the words came out as a faint whisper.
He froze, his eyes widening as he stared me down. “I know you didn’tchoosethis, and neither did I, but I’m trying to make it livable for us both.” His scowl was replaced by a softer grimace as he reached for me again—more slowly this time, but not takingnofor an answer, either—pulling me to his chest.
I allowed him to hold me and listened to him telling me the many reasons why I had to swallow my fear and go back to Boston for now. He said it would take time to make a secured home for me on the island—and it broke my heart. I didn’t know how to tell him what I knew would hurt him. I was scared and feeling like a selfish bitch, but that didn’t stop me from complaining.
“But, Caleb, you said you would come and be in my world with me. You told me,” I reminded him, knowing it would change nothing about this situation.
“I know I did, and I will, Brooke, but I need some time to make that happen, and right now there’s a nest of pit vipers trying to dig out a story about you, and theonlyway I can shield you is to take you back to the city, where I have the resources in place to keep them the fuck out.”
“It’s not permanent, Caleb, you have to understand that I will go for the short term, and only because of safety reasons. I won’tlive with you in Boston permanently. I wish I could, for your sake, because your home is there, and your work. But Iknowthat I can’t. It’s very h-hard for m-me to explain, but I n-n-need to live here on the island.” I shuddered and gasped for air that seemed in very short supply.
“I understand, baby,” he said quietly.
“You do?”