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By the time Lola finished her pitch, a heavy silence had settled over the room. Janice exchanged a look with the others before flipping open her folio. She didn’t need to read minds to know that they weren’t immediately impressed with the surprisingly quiet woman Lola had sold as a dynamo.

“Well, we appreciate you coming in,” Janice began, each word an icy dagger to Lola’s optimism. “As discussed, we’d like to see a screen test before making any hosting decisions.”

“Absolutely! We can’t wait to show you what we’ve got.”

The walk down the hall was interminable, Kiki’s heels clacking nervously on the tile. Lola’s own uncertainty gnawed at her gut. The sinking fear that Natalia was right, that despite any raw talent, Kiki was too inexperienced, made her stomach ache.

In the small studio, the crew adjusted cameras while Janice handed Kiki cue cards. Lola tried to offer some last-minute advice, but Kiki brushed her off, insisting she had this.

Once the filming started, it became painfully clear Kiki did not, in fact, have this. She shifted awkwardly, losing her place on the cards. Her delivery was flat, lacking all her signature boldness that dazzled online.

Lola cringed internally as Kiki fumbled through take after take. This wasn’t the vibrant, charismatic woman she’d been so sure could command the screen. Dread congealed in her empty stomach.

After the disastrous shoot wrapped and the crew left them alone, Kiki blinked back frustrated tears. “I don’t know what happened,” she said miserably. “I’m never this stiff. It’s like I can’t be myself.”

Lola squeezed her arm, mind racing. She hadn’t anticipated having to coddle Kiki’s ego like this. But the chance of salvaging the opportunity depended on getting her spirits up fast.

“You’re just nervous — it’s your first big audition,” Lola soothed. “I’ve seen your talent. We’ll practice more before your next test.”

Kiki sniffed, unconvinced. “You think they’ll give me a second chance?”

Lola suppressed a flare of impatience. She didn’t have time for skittishness. “Listen. You have raw star power; that doesn’t just disappear.” She held Kiki’s gaze, exuding a confidence she didn’t totally feel. “Trust me to shape you into the goddess you’re meant to be. There are other places I can take this idea.”

Kiki searched her face before nodding, a tiny spark returning to her eyes. Satisfied, Lola led them from the building, doubts needling her despite the assurances. She’d make Kiki a star no matter what it took. Failure wasn’t an option.

CHAPTER27

In their biggest conference room,large enough to host mock trials and hold thirty lawyers and a handful of paralegals, Carmen sat in the awkward interior bend of the U-shaped table. Like everything else at the firm, seating was based on seniority.

More experienced attorneys sat along the outer edge. Newer lawyers and support staff sat along the inside and tried to ignore the uncomfortable sensation of giving half the room their backs.

When Carmen had something to say, she’d half turn in her seat, but she’d already given a thirty-second rundown of what she was working on that week. One of the senior associates was sitting at her mother’s side and bloviating about picking a jury in his medical malpractice case, so she was staring down at her legal pad and pretending to take notes.

As they had for weeks, Carmen’s thoughts drifted to Lola. It was like her brain couldn’t find anything else to fill the unoccupied spaces with other than images of her. Lola had gotten under her skin in a thousand different ways before, but this was new. It was a near-constant preoccupation, a barely controlled desire to see her. To kiss her again.

Carmen wasn’t the most experienced dater, but what shewasexperiencing did not feel normal. She’d dated her first girlfriend from high school through nearly the end of law school. They’d been together so long she was sure they’d get married as soon as she passed the bar.

Never once did she find herself unable to stop thinking about her. Never did her entire being feel like it was on fire when she touched her.

Carmen shifted in her seat. Just the thought of Lola’s touch made her skin warm without her permission. Trying to pay attention now that someone else was talking, Carmen pushed away Lola’s specter.

They had really good sex, Carmen rationalized. Sex triggered all kinds of chemical reactions in the body. Her brain was merely chasing the high. It didn’t know that Lola was toxic. It was just craving the serotonin and dopamine hits.

But Carmen knew better than her physiology. Knew that she had to force herself to stop thinking about her. Lola was refined sugar and booze and cigarettes and Carmen had to retrain her brain to want something else.

Maybe I’m bored, Carmen considered, while doodling a series of interconnected triangles. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been out with friends. They’d stopped inviting her to things years ago, but they still checked in with memes and GIFs. She could text the dormant group chat, see what everyone else was up to these days.

She started drafting a message in her mind before remembering that of the three girls in her gang, two had just had babies and one had gotten a job in London. Or at least, that’s what they’d posted on social media.

Unwilling to give up, Carmen’s thoughts continued searching. She could go to one of the happy hours the young lawyer’s division of the bar emailed her about every week. In a sea of other attorneys her age, there had to be someone to hit it off with.

She tried to amp herself up, but the prospect of enduring a barrage of small talk with hopes of finding a diamond in the shit was underwhelming. She’d stopped going to those events because they were all the same. If she wasn’t getting hit on, she was being bored to death.

How the hell did people make friends in their thirties? She drew bubbles around her triangles.

Encroaching desperation pushed her to the edges of her creativity. Maybe she’d try a new dating app. She hadn’t tried to date in a while. Maybe this time things would be different. She could meet someone nice.

Her thoughts turned to her last date and the woman who’d eyed her washing machine with lust and asked if she could bring her comforter for a spin. Carmen resisted the urge to groan.