Page 58
His two younger brothers—God, they’d gotten tall—carried their blue spruce with ease, one holding onto the base, the other carrying the front. Under the instruction of their father, they lifted and effortlessly plopped the tree onto the roof.
Chest growing tight as he watched, Logan swallowed convulsively. His mom wore her hair different these days, longer and straighter. She looked lovely. Elegant. Fisting his hand, he brought it to his mouth, feeling like an invader for spying on them during their family time. But he couldn’t bring himself to look away.
They definitely hadn’t stopped tradition just because he’d left.
“You lied at the meeting.”
When the soft accusation came from beside him, Logan whirled around. Focusing on the new arrival, he dropped his hand from his mouth to press his open palm flush against his erratic heartbeat.
“Paige!” He drew in a deep breath. “What…what’re you doing here?”
She shrugged, her eyes sad as she glanced past him toward his parents and brothers, who were now tying their tree down with bungee cords.
“I just wanted to torture myself, I guess.” Her smile was anything but happy. “With it just being my dad and me, Christmas is pretty dismal around my place. It depresses him a lot, so he mostly just drinks. I…I guess I wanted to see what your Christmas Tree Night was all about and feel envious over here across the street by myself while I hated you and your perfect family from afar.”
Logan didn’t know how to reply to that. He understood her sentiment too well.
“Is that them?” she asked, hitching her chin to point out his family.
He glanced over and watched his brothers pile into the back of their car as his parents got into the front. “Yeah.”
Paige nodded. “And why aren’t you with them?”
He drew in a long, deep breath. “Because they kicked me out.”
“What?” Paige seared him with an incredulous glance before she shook her head vigorously. “No…that can’t be. Your dad was your lawyer. He got you out of jail. He supported you.”
With a bitter laugh, Logan shook his own head. “Of course he got me out of jail. Do you know how mortified he would have been if a Xander, one of his own, had been imprisoned? It was bad enough his son had already embarrassed the family by killing someone, but for me to actually pay for my crime was unheard of. To preserve the family name, he got me off, and then he told me once I graduated from high school, he wanted nothing to do with me.”
Paige’s mouth fell open as she gaped at him. “And what did your mom say?”
Logan shrugged as he turned his gaze back to watch his family’s SUV back out of their parking spot. “She didn’t say anything. She agreed with him.”
Stepping up beside him as his family disappeared down the street, Paige said nothing.
He wondered what she thought of him now. That he was a pathetic loser who deserved what he got? She’d lost most of her family over what he’d done; it was only fair that he lose his too. She was probably smug and overjoyed to learn he’d lived alone these past few—
“What’re your brothers’ names?” she asked so quietly he barely heard her.
He glanced at her, astonished to see her eyes downcast with empathy.
Swallowing the knot of shock in his throat, he fumbled to answer. “Uh…Caleb. Caleb and Jake. Jake is sixteen now and Caleb is…wow.” Logan shook his head, depressed to realize how much time had really passed. “He’s eighteen. Already a senior.”
Paige nodded as if soaking in the information. “Have you seen any of them? At all? Had any contact with them?”
Logan began to shake his head. “No. Well…Jake keeps his Facebook account public. I check his page…a lot.” He sent her a grin. “Looks like he might be better than me on the basketball court.”
Instead of smiling back, Paige looked crushed. His words had reminded her of her own star basketball player of a brother. Dizziness wavered through him, and everything c
ame flooding back. The reason his family had rejected him. The reason he’d never have a future with this wonderful person. The reason he was so broken.
He’d killed Trace Zukowski. Taken a life. Stopped a beating heart.
Forcing himself to breathe through his nose before he had a panic attack, he looked up at the clear sky. Half of a moon dangled among the glittering stars, just like half a man stood next to the most dazzling female he’d ever know.
“You were right, you know,” he confessed, still gazing out above them. “Your brother didn’t start the fight that night.”
He wasn’t sure why he told her. But with the memory of Trace lying dead at his feet so fresh in his mind, he wanted her to know the truth. Everything.
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