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“Do not engage. Repeat, do not engage.”
I chew on my bottom lip.
Clay’s shoulders are hiked and he doesn’t seem to breathe until Gomez responds.
“Yes, sir.”
I grab Clay’s hand. “Leave me behind. I’ll be okay. Go fight with your men.”
“We’re not fighting today. We’re defending.” His eyes have a bright sheen and I know he means that.
“Clay…”
“I’ll direct from here,” Clay says sharply, his eyes shifting to the map.
Guilt explodes all over me. I’m a hindrance. An inconvenience. Why should Clay suffer the burden of taking care of me when his men need him? He’d warned me that it wasn’t a good idea to tag along, and I didn’t listen.
My mouth opens and I let out a nervous gush. “Okay fine. I admit it was a bad idea to come with you and now I feel awful for holding you back.” I step closer to him. “So go.”
His fingers curl into fists.
“If one of the bandits get close to this place, I’ll hide out in the bushes. I’ll… I’ll climb a tree or something. You don’t have to worry about me—”
“I amnotleaving you behind,” Clay growls, his voice so thick with heat that I flinch. “I’m not doing that again.”
Wait… again?
A twisted realization thuds in my heart.
Is he talking about me or Anya right now?
The thought that he might be projecting his feelings for his wife on me makes me a little sick to my stomach.
Why do you care if he sees Anya in you right now? It’s not like it matters.
“Sir.” The walkie croaks. “We’re in place.”
Clay exhales and faces the compound below us. “I have something precious to protect, so I’ll direct you from here. But just because I’m not going into the line of fire with you guys doesn’t mean you’re going in alone.”
“What do you mean, sir?”
“Once any of those bio-weapons get out, society as we know it will never be the same. We’re the ones standing between peace and chaos. We finish this as a team. And we go home as a team.”
A new, nervous voice breaks out over the line. “Sir, you always give this Ted Talk in person. What’s with the walkie speech?”
“I’m not risking what I have beside me here. So you’ll take the front on this mission, while I give the speeches.”
Chuckles break out.
I’m amazed at Clay’s ability to lighten the tension.
And I’m even more sure now that he’s projecting Anya onto me.
Most precious person.
Not risking what’s beside me?
Since he’s made it clear that he wants me out of his sight, the only explanation that makes sense is that he’s imagining a do-over with his late wife.