Page 62

A muscle jumped in the side of his sharp jaw.

I reached for his hand and lifted it in both of mine. His gray eyes met mine, blank, cautious.

“I know you’re not her, consciously, I know it. Just for the foreseeable future, give me a heads up if you come up behind me. Your eyes . . .” I licked my lips. “They’re the same as hers.” And it brought on a searing agony through my stomach. A phantom pain from where she’d carved into me.

“It’s not your fault,” I finally pushed out. I understood more than anything the love one could have for a sibling. “You gave her the benefit of the doubt, as you should have.” He avoided my eyes. I licked my lips. “You rely on your ability. You trust it. She knew that and took advantage.”

Finally, he looked at me. “All of this.” I waved my hand around my face. “It’s a lot.” As quickly as the fear had come, it disappeared. He wasn’t his sister. “I have a question about being a vamp.”

He inclined his head, encouraging me to continue. “I thought vampires couldn’t feel, but everything seems enhanced.” I pressed my palm to my stomach.

Tobias leaned until the edge of the island pressed into his back. I sat straight in the stool and still had to lift my chin to stare into his eyes.

“Your negative emotions are emphasized,” he began. Bloodlust, hunger, jealousy, irritation. Check and check. “They drown out all other emotions and if it’s not that, then it’s hunger. Think back to your past. It’s almost behind a hazy curtain, yes?” I slowly nodded. “As time passes, it becomes more difficult to hold onto those memories and the emotions that come with them. Vampires do not love because wecannot.” He brought his hand up, lifting it toward me. Slow enough that I could have turned my head away. His fingertips grazed my cheek.

“It is not easy to pull those softer emotions from vampires, but once you have, they will bond to someone for eternity. We call the one that returns that piece of ourselves a ‘Beloved.’” The corner of his lips twitched. “You reminded us what softness felt like.”

“Beloved.” I frowned. “Is that some sort of magical thing?” I thought they said magic didn’t exist. There also weren’t any other creatures from stories that existed from my understanding—all the myths came from vampires.

“If you’re asking about predestined, or a tether to tie us to you, no. But you were the one that forced us tofeel.” His lips twitched up higher, wrinkling the corners of his eyes. “I supposed there is a magic in that, if you prefer to think of it that way.”

“Will I forget how to love?” I frowned. I couldn’t imagine losing myself and no longer caring about Peter.

“No. Asher and Jax had each other. You note how they have loyalty to each other? They are also a reminder of each other’s humanity. This is why theyfeelmuch easier than the rest of us.” He paused. “You have your brother andus, if you choose to stay by our side.” He stopped and his eyebrows furrowed. Suddenly looking unsure. I slid off the stool and stood, craving his arms.

“More like you’re stuck with us.” Asher entered into the kitchen, rapping his knuckles against the broken metal doorleaning against the wall. All four of them came in, with a shirtless Bastien bringing up the rear. “Tobias, Bastien was infected when Ren trapped him in a cell with a blood-mad vampire.” The way he spat it out was how a kid would tattle.

“What?” Tobias hissed, straightening.

Jax moved fast and appeared in front of me. Blood stained his face, but there no longer seemed to be open wounds. He cupped the bottom of my jaw, turning my head side to side.

“Jax—”

He dropped to his knees and yanked my shirt up. His face was level with my stomach. Blue eyes scanned my skin.

He released a gust of oxygen from his mouth and dropped his forehead to my belly. His golden hair rustled. I slowly lifted my hand and sank my fingers into the strands. He shuddered, arms slipping around my waist and hugging me tight.

I remained frozen from shock. He looked for what Imogen had done to my stomach.

“What?” Tobias’s eyes flashed red, and he yanked Jax’s shirt. The cotton ripped and a low hiss left Jax. He released me and stood to face Tobias with a curled lip. Although Jax was taller, Tobias looked like he would tear his throat out. And I didn’t doubt the damage they’d inflict on each other.

“Tobias.” I lifted my hands in a staying motion. Someone pulled me back from my arm, and I looked over my shoulder to Bastien shaking his head. I pressed my lips into a thin line.

Tobias shoved Jax back, turning to meet my eyes. He looked haunted. I dragged my attention away from him, suddenly feeling so exposed. He’d likely seen Imogen carve ‘whore’into my stomach through Jax’s memories. Bastien squeezed my shoulder. I leaned back into him.

Every muscle in my body tensed. What was I doing, taking comfort from the star of all my nightmares?

“Are you well, Little One?” His gruff question soothed the fear that clutched onto my throat. I hadn’t moved an inch. I bunched the fabric of my pants in my fist. Squeezed once, twice . . . my shoulders loosened and with it, the urge to take off running.

“Why would you do that to Bastien?” I asked Ren, figuring distraction was the best course of action. Ren crossed his arms, not seeming even a little sorry.

Bastien’s lips twisted. “Imogen’s orders, I presume.”

“You did not hide your plans to leave the Coven,” Ren said.

“I was searching for a cure,” Bastien snarled.

“And she wouldn’t have benefited if you left.”