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“Because I need to hold his hand when that roller coaster plummets down. Didn’t you hear the man? It goes ninety-seven miles per hour. I’m not going on that thing unless I can squeeze his hand. Anyway, I called dibs, so…”

Now the woman with the umbrella gets up from her seat as well. “That’s not fair. You can’t call dibs on something like this. They load the roller coaster according to whoever is at the front of the queue.”

“Why does this bother you so much?” Kathleen peers at her knitting club colleague. “Do you want to sit next to Prince Charming?”

Eileen puts her hand on her hip and throws Kathleen a cocky smile. “As a matter of fact, I do. Besides, you’re on blood pressure medication.”

Kathleen’s nostrils flare. “Oh yeah? What about you? You pop more pills than a drug addict.”

“You already got to sit right behind that sexy bus driver who got us here.”

“Well, yeah, I might drop dead any minute! Why won’t you let me enjoy what could be my last remaining hours?”

I suck in a breath. This is getting out of hand. If I don’t intervene, they’ll punch each other in the face.

“Ladies, please, there’s no need to fight over this. I’m sure we can salvage the situation so that we all get what we want.”

Even though I think I’m being very reasonable, no one pays any attention to me. Elle rushes toward me. “Shouldn’t we do something?”

“I know. This is insane.”

“I’ve never seen a group of elderly women argue like this.”

I grin. “I have. I once witnessed a fight break out at one of those all-you-can-eat buffets.”

She nods knowingly. “A matter of who got the last crab cake or smoked salmon?”

“Something like that.”

Eileen picks up her umbrella. I have half a mind to snatch it from her hands, but instead, I put my fingers between my lips and whistle. The shrill sound startles everyone, Elle included. I mouth I’m sorry, then turn toward the knitters.

“I will sit next to whomever wants to ride Nitro Snake with me,” I start.

“I’ll ride your snake if you’re offering,” Janine says, eliciting giggles from the group.

Elle snorts as well. I pretend I didn’t hear a thing and continue talking. “I’ll go on the ride multiple times so that everyone gets a chance to…” I swallow. I can hardly believe what I’m about to say. “Hold my hand.”

I had originally planned to sit next to Elle, but I guess that’s off the table now. We can always ride that coaster when we’re not working. It’s not like we’re not here all the time anyway.

Excited murmurs travel through the group. I’ve got to temper their enthusiasm, though. Like Elle said before, it really is safety first at The Magic Wonderland.

“Those of you who take heart medication or have a serious health condition can’t, under any circumstances, go on the ride,” I state.

“What if we sign a waiver?” Myrtle asks. “I’m not bothered by the risks. In fact, I think it would be a nice way to go.”

She thinks dying on a roller coaster is nice? Maybe for her, but I don’t want to hold a dead woman’s hand for several minutes while being catapulted up and down a twisting track.

“I’ll have to check with my boss,” I say. “Also, we’ll determine the order of participation alphabetically.”

“Good thinking,” Elle whispers.

I lean into her, until my lips are only inches away from her ear. “I promise I’ll take you for a ride as well, when no one is around to interrupt us.”

She closes her eyes and swallows. “I’m looking forward to it,” she finally says, her voice a throaty whisper.

I wink at her before turning my attention back to the group. “Okay, ladies, let’s go.”

We all take the elevator back down and use the park’s golf carts to get to Nitro Snake. These ladies are fierce, but their joints aren’t what they used to be—or so I’m told by Myrtle.