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What if she blames me for his death?
What if she wants revenge or justice?
The thoughts kept running through my mind.
The only saving grace was Becky. She finally found the courage to leave her house and come visit me the day I was released from hospital. We spoke about everything. She felt terrible for everything, even pushing me away after the attack at the university. But after a long talk, I managed to convince her to forgive herself and not to worry. We were friends, nothing was going to change that.
“Will you stop bouncing your leg, it’s making me nervous,” Banner orders from next to me.
I grimace, giving him an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I’m just really nervous. What if she’s come to tell me she hates me, Banner?”
“Then I’ll kick her fucking arse.”
“And I’ll throw the bitch out,” Mark pipes in from the kitchen doorway.
When there’s a knock on the door, I practically jump out of my seat.
“Calm down. I’ll get it,” Banner tells me, getting up from the sofa and walking over to the door.
“I’ll go to my room,” Mark whispers, rushing over to his room.
I watch, my fingers twiddling in my lap. Banner opens the door to reveal a petite woman with mousy brown hair and kind eyes.
“Hey, I’m Diana. Darren’s aunt.”
“Come in,” Banner tells her curtly.
She looks nervous, as she scans the room warily, like someone’s going to jump out at her. When her eyes land on me on the couch, tears gather behind them.
“You must be Emma,” she greets softly.
I quickly stand, nodding. “Yes. Please, have a seat.”
“I can’t stay long. I have to pick the kids up from nursery.”
“Okay.”
She sits down elegantly, crossing her legs to the side and folding her hands in her lap. “As you’re aware, Darren came to live with me after he was released from prison. His mum wasn’t the best, and his father left and never looked back when he was three. She never showed him the love or attention a child deserved, even a teenager who should be getting reprimanded for being in trouble. She didn’t care.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask quietly.
She gives me a sad smile, tilting her head to the side. “To show you what kind of person he was. His mum turned to drugs, and to feed her habit, she had him sell drugs for her dealer. I tried to intervene at that point, but he loved his mum. He just wanted her to change, to love him. One of her boyfriends got violent, and when his mum still didn’t leave him, Darren changed.
“I visited him in prison, since his mum no longer cared. She had forgotten about him. It took him a long time to get through withdrawal, but once he did, that boy broke before my very eyes. He told me everything. He told me about loving your sister, but that she reminded him too much of his mum. He also loved his girlfriend more—at the time. He said she was a breath of fresh air, an escape from the reality of his life and what it had become. I got a phone call the same day, saying he’d tried to hang himself in his cell.”
I gasp, feeling tears gather in my eyes. I didn’t know any of this. I didn’t even know about his mum, and thinking back, I can’t remember ever meeting her.
“When he attacked you, he didn’t even realise what he was doing. It’s no excuse, and he took full responsibility, but he wanted an escape from the life he was leading. He watched his mum doing it his whole life and thought that was the answer,” she says, wiping away the tears falling down her cheeks.
“You don’t need to do this,” I tell her, my chest tightening.
“He would want me to. Ineedto,” she explains. “He never got over attacking you, even with the counselling the prison provided. He tried to write to you a few times, wanting you to know how deeply sorry he was. When he was given a release date, I provided everything, even a job for him to come out to. But you haunted him night and day. He would scream out your name at night,” she reveals, clutching her chest, her voice hitching.
Banner sits down next to me, wrapping his arm around my chest. “I’m so sorry, Diana.”
She lifts her head. “Never be sorry, Emma. What he did was unforgivable, but it still didn’t mean he couldn’t make amends.”
“I did forgive him. For everything,” I whisper.