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And amazingly, he’d stepped up again, even after our apocalyptic fight. He’d heroically saved me from Snake Eyes. So they told me. I hadn’t been conscious to see it. He’d snatched me from the jaws of death, seen me to the hospital, and then, duty fulfilled, he’d shaken the dust off his boots and walked off into the sunset.
Not a word from the man. Not a peep.
I was a miserable mess. I’d been crashing at Nell’s place in Williamsburg for the first couple of weeks afterward, but the close quarters were driving us bananas. We were stumbling over each other, and Moxie was stressed and disoriented, too. I loved my sisters, but their intense worry for me was wearing me down.
I’d risked coming back here tonight just for some sweet solitude. Just to enjoy the quiet, even though I was too scared to so much as turn on a lamp.
The doctors said that it would take a while for the anxiety to ease off. The pills they’d prescribed were rattling around in my purse, but I hadn’t tried taking them. All I had were my feelings. I didn’t want to cut myself loose from those, too.
Besides. I needed to be razor sharp, if Snake Eyes came calling. I’d gotten myself some pepper spray and a stun baton. Maybe I was fooling myself, but damn, I was not going down without a fight if he came after me again.
And Snake Eyes had taken my precious necklace. A fresh insult, and a fresh new disaster. It was a third of that key that Lucia had alluded to. We had not yet even begun to solve the puzzle, and now we never would. So this fear, stress, and uncertainty would never end.
Not until Snake Eyes finally nabbed me.
Ouch. I tried to push the fear away, but I was losing the knack of stuffing painful thoughts and feelings. They demanded their space now. They would not be denied.
I thought of calling Liam, but something always held me back. He was the one who had walked away, so technically, the ball was in his court. But I was too raw and sad to play games. I just wanted to hold out my heart and say, “Take it. It’s yours anyway, you damn idiot. So take it already.”
The intercom buzzed, and I jerked upright, my heart in my throat.
My sisters had keys, so it wasn’t one of them. And Snake Eyes wouldn’t buzz. He would transform into fetid slime, ooze under the crack in the door, and reconstitute himself on the other side.
Which meant it almost had to be one of my clients who’d gotten frustrated with me being incommunicado. Or Peter and Enid, tired of me ignoring their calls.
Fuck ‘em. I didn’t want to talk. Just as well I’d left the light off. Plausible deniability. I gave the intercom the finger and sat there. Daring it to ring again.
Buzzzzzz, it rang, loud and long and demanding. Persistent bastard.
Buzzzzzz, again. At this point, I was curious. I slunk up next to the window. Leaned out to peek down, ready to lunge back to avoid being seen.
Liam stood on the top of my stoop. My heart thudded painfully hard against my ribs. My legs went rubbery and weak. Buzzzzz, he hit the intercom again.
Then he looked up and saw me. I hadn’t flinched back fast enough.
He gazed up in silent entreaty. I went to the door, and buzzed him in, then unlocked all the locks, of which there were many. I had added three more to my collection since the Snake Eyes episode.
Dignity, I reminded myself. Detachment. Hold your ground. You’re not going to throw your life away to suit anyone’s whim. You’ve done that long enough.
A quiet knock sounded. I opened the apartment door.
The sight of him hit me like a blow. So tall. So beautiful. But thinner. He was pale, drawn, his face somber. In the sickly light from the stairwell, I saw fading bruises beneath both eyes. He’d had a broken nose, Eoin had said. Cracked ribs. A dislocated shoulder. Hanging out with me was hard on a guy’s health.
I grimly clamped down on the urge to fuss. Fussing was above my pay grade.
My heart raced so hard, I felt woozy and faint. I could think of no coherent greeting for him, so I just stepped back and silently gestured him in.
He shoved the door shut after him, blocking out the light. I was grateful I’d left it off, until memories flooded back of the last time they’d been in this room, in the dark. Making mad love.
He cleared his throat. “Are you all right?”
I blocked all the automatic polite replies at their source. I had nothing to lose, nothing to hide, no reason to lie. “No,” I said. “I feel like shit.”
He took a step closer. “I’m sorry about what happened between us.”
A sound burst out of me, part bitter laugh, part derisive snort. “Not as sorry as me. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t concentrate. I’m scared of my own shadow. I’m wrecked, Liam. Don’t tell me you’re sorry. I don’t want to hear it.”
“You have to hear it, because I’m not done saying it.”