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She stops suddenly and gasps. “What the hell is that?”
Hanging from the tree is the ugliest-looking dummy ever created. Neither Carver nor I have great sewing skills, and it shows. We cut up a sheet and formed a body, stuffing it with fluff from pillows that we destroyed. We added two stuffed arms, legs, and a head, along with two plastic translucent globes for eyes. We added weights inside the legs to keep it from moving when he’s hit as well. The mouth is a drawn-on frowny face with gnarly teeth, compliments of my Sharpie, and a rectangle nose. Not to be outdone, Carter added his own personal touch of curly pube hairs at the crotch before I could stop him.
Aurora doubles over laughing. If I never hear anything in this world again, I could die a happy man. It’s carefree and light, something I wondered if I’d ever get the chance to experience.
“Dude, that’s fucking ugly,” Thomas quips.
Hudson pokes it with a stick like it has a disease. “What’s the point of this?”
“You’ll see,” I say cryptically. “Aurora, can you come over here, but tell Lykos to stay first?”
She gives Lykos the command and strolls over to my side, waiting for instruction. The last thing we need is for Lykos to think his owner is in danger. If I give the command, he might listen to me, but it’s better coming from Aurora.
“Thomas isn’t wrong.” She crosses her arms. “Ted is pretty ugly.”
“Who the fuck is Ted?” Carver asks.
Hudson snickers. “You named him?”
“Alright, alright,” I say, trying to gain control. “He’s not the greatest looking punching bag, but it’s the best we could come up with on the fly.”
“So, he’s not just for scaring the birds,” she jokes.
“Hardy har har,” Carver huffs. “I’ll have you know my fingers were bleeding last night from all the damn needle pokes. Those fuckers are sharp.”
“Aww… Does the poor baby need a Band-Aid?” Aurora’s hand flies to her mouth, her eyes widen in shock. “I-I-I’m… I-I-I didn’t mean… I’m sorry, Carver.”
Carver steps closer to her. “Aurora, stop,” he says gently. “I actually do need a Band-Aid.” He glares at me. “Fucker wouldn’t give me one.”
Carver shoves me out of the way to demonstrate how our prototype works. I cross my arms and watch as he holds her attention. The spotlight that I wanted is now his, and the greenmonster is rearing its ugly head. I stomp toward the table, grab a bottle of water, twist off the top, and chug a mouthful.
Hudson jogs over to grab one as well. “Careful, Captain,” he warns. “You’re showing your cards.”
Fuck! I was afraid of that.
I crack my neck and recenter myself before walking calmly returning to where Carver is finishing his explanation. “Did you show her the lights yet?”
“Nah,” he answers. “Figured you’d want to.”
He wanders over to the other guys, who are patiently waiting to see what this monstrosity can do.
“Did Carver explain that this is a pressure point dummy?”
She nods. “How will I know I’m hitting the right area?”
“You’ll see.” I cock my arm back, aiming for the neck, hitting directly between the neck and shoulder. The lights on the doll light up bright red.
“Wow,” she mumbles. “You made me my own3 Ninjaspractice dummy! This is amazing!”
I scratch my head. “What are you talking about?”
“3 Ninjas,” she says, exasperated. “Only one of the greatest nineties movies ever!”
“Hit it again!” The peanut gallery yells.
“You guys ever heard of a movie called3 Ninjas?” I holler.
Everyone shakes their head except Carver, who smirks. “Where do you think I got the idea for the light-up eyes, genius?”