Page 122

I scanned my eyes along his hair, down his shoulders and backto his neck, peeking under his chin to find a few more leaves sticking out from under him.

That's when I noticed the marks on his neck, like something had been wrapped around it. Ligature marks, partially hidden by the burns but clear enough on the unmarred skin. He had been strangled.

I looked down at the leaf again, and my entire body went still.

Briar.

The leaf crumpled in my fist as understanding crashed through me. My friends had been a part of this. And Baelor Soleil was back on team V.

Sleep wasn't just elusive—itwas fucking impossible. Every time I closed my eyes, Valkan's milky gaze was there, watching me bleed. My skin crawled with phantom sensations—steel biting into flesh, blood running down my arms, that sickeningdrip drip driponto stone floors as hungry mouths leeched me. I paced my room like a caged animal, but the memories followed. They wouldn't leave.

Aether.

The thought hit me like a whip, stopping me mid-stride. His quarters weren't far—just up a few levels. But the idea of appearing at his door, of admitting I couldn't handle this on my own... My chest constricted, shame burning hot beneath my skin.

He'd been so devastated earlier after what we saw in the infirmary. What if he rejected me, needing to be alone? That would be fair. It's not like he owed me anything. But even worse, what if he blamed me for what happened to Lael—for abandoning the mission and taking him with me? If it weren't for me, he'd have been there, and none of that would have happened. Lael wouldn'tbe hurt. I bit my lip, eyes drawn to the stone floor beneath my feet. He must think it. Because I was beginning to think it, myself.

Beyond that, I didn't want toneedhim.

I'd spent my entire life convincing myself I didn't need anyone. Proving I could survive without being dependent on another person. And now what? I was going to go running to him because I couldn't close my eyes without re-living those horrors? Others had suffered far worse.

My vision blurred, and I slammed my eyes closed.No. I wouldn't cry.

A blade dragged across my collarbone—sharp, cold,real. I stumbled back, crashing into the wall as my hands flew to my throat. The metallic scent of blood filled my nose, but when I pulled my fingers away, they were clean. My heart slammed against my ribs as I stared at my trembling hands.Not real not real not real.

I can't. I can't do this.

The corridors were silent except for my bare feet against stone. Each step up to his quarters felt like admitting defeat, and I almost turned around twice. My heart wouldn't slow down, wouldn't let me catch my breath properly, but I'd rather die than let anyone see me like this. Anyone except?—

When I reached his door, I stood there like an idiot, hand raised to knock.This is ridiculous. You're ridiculous.But before I could retreat, the door swung open.

Aether filled the doorway, and for a moment, my racing thoughts stilled. He looked different without the Umbra uniform—just simple dark sleep clothes, his hair pushed back from his face. Those golden eyes widened slightly as they found mine, and I saw the exact moment concern replaced surprise.

"I—" My voice came out shaky and small, and I hated it. Hated how my hands wouldn't stop trembling, how the walls felt like they were closing in. I tried for something witty, something toprove I wasn't falling apart, and I even opened my mouth in an attempt, but no words came.

"Come in," he said quietly, like he understood everything I couldn't say.

Heavy black curtains blocked out the eternal twilight, wrapping everything in darkness that should have been suffocating but somehow wasn't.

The whole space smelled like him—rain and smoke, with hints of weapon oil. Something in my chest loosened slightly at the familiar scent. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stop the trembling that wouldn't quite go away.

"I don't usually..." I started, then stopped.Don't usually what?"I'm sorry," I finally managed.

"Why are you here, Fia?" His voice was quiet, but there was something else there. Concern, maybe. Or understanding.

The question hit harder than I expected. I stared at the weapons on his wall, unable to meet those golden eyes. "I can't sleep." My voice came out smaller than I meant it to. "I didn't want to disturb you, with Lael and everything, but..."

I couldn't finish. Couldn't admit that every time I closed my eyes, I was back there. In Draxon. That I'd spent hours trying to convince myself I was being ridiculous, that I was stronger than this. That I'd only come when the alternative became unbearable.

Something shifted in his expression. He didn't move closer, didn't offer empty comfort. He just nodded.

"I can sleep on the floor," I added quickly. "I just... can't be alone right now."

"You're not sleeping on the floor. Take the bed," he offered, striding over to a worn leather couch in the corner of the room. "I'll sleep here."

I watched as he grabbed a pillow from the bed, his massive frame making the furniture look impossibly small.

"That couch is barely long enough for me, let alone you."