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And yet, it had feltreallygood.What if I had let him keep going?What if we had kissed more?Done…other things?

The thought made me uneasy and yet filled me with intense desire, emotions that didn’t sit comfortably together at all.I imagined myself getting out of my own bed and getting in with Saint.Imagined kissing him back, taking his mouth the way he had taken mine…

But no, I couldn’t do that.He had been healing me.What if that wasallhe’d been doing?What if he got mad at me and accused me of misinterpreting his motives and acting gay with him when he was really and truly straight?

My thoughts were such a muddled confusion it took me hours to get to sleep.And when I did, I had all kinds of weird, confusing dreams where a huge black dragon with scales outlined in burning crimson was chasing me.When he finally caught me, he swept me up in one huge, clawed forehand and spoke to me in Saint’s voice.

“I just want to love you,”he rumbled, looking at me with those burning, fiery eyes.“Just let me love you, Avery.”

I woke up in a cold sweat, not knowing what to think.

12

SAINT

When my Drake awoke, he wasextremelyupset.Because I can hide little to nothing from him, he saw that I had been intimate with Avery.Well, maybe “intimate” is too strong a term, but he saw that I had been able to touch him at least—to hold him—and to press my mouth to his soft skin and breathe in his warm scent.

I got feelings of extreme jealousy from him—why had I been allowed to hold and touch and be near our fated mate while he, my Drake, had not?Why had I been allowed to be so close to ourl’lornawhile he was sleeping?

“Avery isnotour l’lorna,”I told him firmly.“He is a male—a male cannot be the fated mate—the l’lorna—of a male Drake.”

But my Drake insisted—in angry pictures and emotions that he shoved into my mind—that Averywasourl’lornaand that he must be allowed to be close to him, too.

“No—absolutely not!”I mentally shouted at him.“You’re too big and unpredictable and frightening.If you come out you’ll scare him.”

My Drake pointed out that he had come out part of the way yesterday and Avery had been the only person whowasn’tfrightened.He insisted that he would never hurt Avery—he only wanted to come out and “cuddle” him.

I had never heard him so articulate—it seemed that his desire for my roommate brought out his words.But this was still a bad situation.I reminded him that if he came out again, I would be expelled from the school and that both of us would have to go back to the Sky Lands and never see Avery again.

This revelation brought a burst of emotions from my drake—horror at the idea of never seeing the belovedl’lornaagain, anger that others were trying to keep Avery from him, and such a strong desire to be close to my short, blond roommate that he made me ache with it, from head to toe.

Ifhecould not hold and cuddle Avery, couldIdo it again—this time while he was awake, he asked?At least then he could feel the sensations through me.

It was no use trying to explain to him how awkward such a request would be.Last night had beendifferent—we had been speaking openly and Avery had offered me a hug—the first one I’d had in years.It had feltrightto pour our hearts out to each other and right for me to heal him.But now it was morning and we were about to start another school day.How could I go over to Avery and ask if I could “cuddle” him for a few minutes before we went to Breakfast?

The answer was, Icouldn’t.I told my Drake he would have to wait—to hold himself in check.I had things I must attend to and cuddling my roommate was not one of them.

This drove him into a fury and I had to fight with him as I got dressed, straining to keep him under control as I got ready for the day’s classes.

I’m not sure what Avery must have thought of me.I was almost silent and when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my face was white with tension.I hoped he didn’t think I was upset about the healing the night before but I simply couldn’t spare any strength for idle conversation.I was trying too hard to keep my Drake in check and I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

13

AVERY

It was just what I had been afraid of—Saint hated me now.Or else he hated himself for what we had done together the night before.I could tell by the tense set of his broad shoulders, the way his face was a white, silent mask.He barely said a word to me as we got ready to go to Breakfast and once we got to the Dining Hall, he sat at the far end of the table from me, just as he had the night before.

My stomach was in knots and I could barely sip the coffee (extra cream, extra sugar) that was my usual morning meal.Saint wasn’t eating or drinking anything at all.He was just sitting there, silent, at the other end of the table with that tense, angry look on his face that made me think he was probably never going to talk to me again.

It wasn’t my fault, though!I thought, feeling miserable and irritated at the same time.He was the one who said he wanted to “heal” me and then started kissing me all over!

Youdid toostart it,whispered a guilty little voice in my head.You started it by offering him a hug.You should never have left your bed—you should have kept some distance between the two of you.

I had to admit that little voice was probably right.There had been a kind of electric tension humming between myself and my tall, dark and dangerous roommate last night.Almost a magnetism that seemed to draw us together.I could still feel his arms around me, his lips on my skin.I could still smell his scent—a mixture of warm, masculine spice and the fragrance of bonfires in the autumn.

And now he hates me again,I thought morosely.I should never have let things go so far.I should have known that a guy who considers himself straight couldn’t get as close as we got last night without some serious regrets the next day.I should have?—

“Oh, Avery—your face is all healed!”Megan sat down on my left side and Griffin, holding a tall cup of animal blood which was what the Nocturnes had for all their meals, sat beside her.