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I think about it every time I debate over what to wear to college and trawl Instagram to see if the girls have posted a fit check yet that morning – it’s habit, at this point, even if I’m avoiding our morning Costa trips for now.

Jake’s voice rings in my head, shouting at me for being so shallow.

But I guess I don’t know how to be otherwise, and I keep picking outfits based on what the others are wearing. At least, I figure, it’ll help me fade into the background.

November slips past with the weather as grey and dismal as my mood, and then I’m kept blessedly distracted by extra shifts at H&M and heavy loads of schoolwork. The girls start making plans to go ice skating or watch the new Lindsay Lohan Netflix Christmas movie, and I make excuses to get out of all of it.

Which works, until it doesn’t.

‘Because you’re taller than me! Cerys,please,’ Evie wheedles. ‘I can’t be arsed to go find the stepladder. Just grab me the box of chalk on the top shelf, will you? It’ll taketwo seconds.’

She’s being weirdly annoying about such a small favour, dragging me to the art room after college finishes to help her get some supplies, badgering me at my shoulder even though I’ve already agreed.

She undoes the latch on the supply room door –

And shoves me inside, slamming it shut behind her. I’m pushed right into someone; the light is on, and it’sDaphne – pink-cheeked and seething, her arms crossed tightly.

The latch flips back into place on the other side of the door, and I rattle the handle uselessly.

‘Evie! What the hell?’

‘You two need to sort this out! We’re all sick of you both doing the whole cold-shoulder thing.’

‘But –’

And then Chloe’s voice joins in from the other side of the door, too, shouting, ‘Whatever’s gone on, you two need to talk through it and hear each other out. Then you can either make up or decide you’re not friends anymore. We’re going to get coffees; we’ll be back in half an hour.’

Nikita calls, ‘Try not to kill each other!’ Then her voice drops, but I can still hear her through the door. ‘Wait, Evie, are there scalpels in there? Should we have checked?’

‘We’re not going to kill each other!’ Daphne and I both shout back, and share a look. Her mouth purses, and I swallow a huff. There’s the sound of the other girls walking away, though, leaving us stuck in here until they let us out.

Daphne sighs, moving to the corner to sit on a stack of boxes. She doesn’t quite look at me as she asks, ‘Did Evie tell you she needed help reaching the top shelf, too?’

‘We’re not even that much taller than her. Why did we fall for it?’

She rolls her eyes, but it feels good-natured. ‘Because she’s Evie.’

I hesitate before taking a seat, too. I get stuck sitting on the floor, since there aren’t any other boxes to perch on, and I wrap my arms around my knees. ‘They sound like the couples’ counsellor my parents see.Talk through your problems, hear where the other person is coming from.’

‘How’s that working for them?’

I snort.

‘Oh. You … um, you never … mentioned anything.’

‘I didn’t want to bring the mood down.’ I shrug, then meet her eye. ‘Talking about my shitty boy drama with Jake felt like a better way to get you all to like me than complaining that my parents’ divorce is a living hell.’

Daphne’s eyes go wide, her face falling into something sympathetic and gentle, full of her usual earnestness. But she seems to check herself, because she sniffs and says nothing.

I sit up straighter. ‘I shouldn’t … Look, I’m not saying you should hear me out, and I get it if you don’t want to be my friend anymore. But I shouldn’t have said that stuff at the party. I shouldn’t have brushed you off like that. I’m sorry.’

Daphne scoffs. ‘You’resorry?’

But before I can tell her I am – that I really,honestlyam, she’s burying her face in her hands and laughing shakily.

‘Why areyousorry?’ she exclaims. ‘Cerys,I’mthe one who was a total bitch! Like you were jealous and boy-crazy, when … I mean, comeon, like we don’t all ask you what the latest is with Jake and dissect it a hundred times over! I was just – I was … Oh, God.’ She sighs, another wobbly laugh catching on her words, and she slumps, pulling her hands away from her face to look at me. ‘It was so stupid. It’s so embarrassing.’

‘What?’